BACK TO REALITY
by newworld oracle
Summary: Even a trio of superheroes has a hard time cleaning up what's left of their lives after the Devil's Eyes incident. Something tells me they'll rise above.:Chaps 15 & 16 Up! It's almost finished! Thanks for the reviews.
1. Chapter 1

"Barbara?" Helena cradled Barbara's head in her lap and took hold of her fallen hand. There was no response.

"Huntress?" Dinah looked around as bodies lay strewn around the once-safe-haven. "Reese. Do you have this? I've got to find Barbara and Helena."

"Dinah! Up here. Hurry!"

Hearing the urgency in Helena's voice, Dinah quickened her trip up the spiral staircase to the kitchen. As she reached the top, her eyes filled with tears; partly from fear and partly from sadness and disappointment at all that had transpired.

"Hey!" Helena, feeling the presence of sudden danger, shot her eyes toward Harley Quinn. "Dinah…"

"Oh no you don't!" Seeing Harley begin picking herself up off the ground, Dinah sent her crashing through the top of the kitchen table. She followed her motion by rushing over to Helena's side. "Is she…"

"No. She's just…We need to get this off her fast." She glanced toward the transponder which, had long-since stopped blinking.

"Do we just pull it off? What…"

"I don't know Dinah. Let's get her to her room." The girls carefully moved a seemingly lifeless Barbara to a room down the hall. "Go get Alfred. He might know more about his." Helena began removing Barbara's jacket and straightening her legs out. She rolled her smoothly onto her side. "Barbara. Why do you push yourself so far?" She muttered to herself as she studied the transponder.

"Alfred. Helena needs you. It's Barbara." Reese and Alfred busied themselves carrying the fallen officers and Harley's stooges, out of the clock tower.

"Go ahead Alfred. I've got this. I'm calling for backup…"

"I trust you know…"

"Alfred, I'll protect them. Don't worry."

"Very well, Miss Dinah?" The two hurried up the stairs to Barbara's room. "It's the transponder. I told her it was a bad idea. It was on far too long this time."

"Can you take it off?"

"Yes, but…"

"But what?" Dinah was growing more and more worried.

"…I'm not sure how she will fair. That is to say, she's never prepared for this circumstance. She pushed too hard this time." They entered the room to find Barbara still unconscious and Helena worriedly studying the mechanism attached to Barbara's back.

"Yah. Sounds like Barbara. Alfred. We have to get this thing off!"

He went about rolling up his sleeves and bending over where Barbara lay. "Miss Helena, you realize she may not…"

"Alfred. Just get it off. She'll be fine. It's Barbara we're talking about. She has to be fine." She helped steady her friend's body as Alfred went to work dismantling the device.

"Yes Miss Helena. Let's hope she's strong enough."

"Shit! All Hell is braking loose. There's no way we can stop this without her." Reese walked out onto the riotous streets of New Gotham pushing one of Harley's stooges into his car. The once-quiet streets were now full of screaming and rioting. People were literally going crazy. They had broken through almost every storefront to clean out the goods of helpless storekeepers. There were so many of them, Reese sighed at the sight of one such criminal in the backseat of his cop car. "One down, thousands to go. Huntress! I need you now more than ever." He grasped the knuckle of his middle finger, rubbing the metal band signaling a call for help; a call that would go unanswered. The Clock tower was out of commission. His signals were not going through. Oracle's system had been compromised. Diligently as ever, Reese climbed in and headed toward the station not knowing what his next move would be.

"Complete chaos! How am I going to stop this?" The mayhem continued as he went deeper into the city toward the station. Stepping out of his car, upon arrival, Reese looked around at the mess that had come to be in just a few hours. More looting, shouting, mass pandemonium.

"Detective Reese? It's the Commissioner on the phone. He wants to speak to you."

"I bet he does!" Reese reluctantly took the call. "Yes Sir, this is Reese." He began spinning his wheels trying to come up with a way to explain what had transpired. Then it dawned on him. "Sir. Do you still have contact with Commissioner Gordon? James Gordon?" There was a pause before the Commissioner's affirmative response. "You might want to give him a call Sir. You know how history repeats itself? Well, let's just say, when you tell him what's going on, he'll understand, explain, and now what our options are. Oh and Sir? You should tell him that Barbara is hurt and might need him." Alfred's brief history lesson during clean-up was paying off. "Yes. I'll be with her shortly. Stay in contact Sir."

Together, Helena and Alfred removed the device which revealed bruises covering the width of Barbara's frail back. Scars of the past met painfully with the new injuries caused by the stress of the transponder. She didn't stir which was good and bad. It meant she was in no pain, but also meant that she was unresponsive.

"Miss Helena, I'll leave you to change Miss Barbara's clothes." Touching Helena's hand, he left a clean-fresh outfit on the bed beside Barbara.

"Miss Dinah. Come with me. We'll ready some tea and see if we can't wake her up."

Reluctantly, Dinah made eye-contact with Helena who smiled and motioned for her to go ahead and leave.

Helena began gently removing Barbara's shirt. She couldn't help but think how it was usually the other way around; Barbara helping her. Moving her up to the pillow, she reached down and began to take off her black leather boots. A small grin fell across her face as the thought occurred to her how much Barbara would hate all this help and attention. She was allowed to stay but a fleeting moment more in the comfort of the moment as she laughed again and thought to herself, "These are my black leather pants!" Then, as sneakily as it arrived, the feeling left and she was overcome by sadness as she held Barbara's lifeless legs in her arms. "I'm sorry Barbara. It's not fair. I'm so…" Her heart almost stopped as her words of pity were hushed by Barbara.

"Shhhhh…. Just get it over with and leave me…" her voice was weak and trailed off.

Helena was only slightly relieved. At least she knew Barbara was conscious. It didn't still the feelings of sadness as she continued guiding her friend's legs into sweatpants. The task finished, Helena bent down and kissed Barbara's forehead softly and pulled the covers up. Giving one last look at the woman who had given her everything, the woman who was just fighting side by side with her not more than an hour ago, she left the room.

"How is she? Did she wake up? Could you tell any…?"

"Dinah! She's fine. She woke up for a second long enough to get mad at me for helping her." Helena allowed herself to laugh out loud to complete the front she began putting on at that moment. In the back of her mind, she knew Barbara was different, but she didn't want to make that an issue at that moment.

"Good. Her back looks bad. Do you think…?"

"She no worse off than she was before right?" Helena startled Dinah with her angry reply.

"Helena! What are…?"

"I'm sorry Dinah…it's just…" Helena collapsed in a pile on the floor. Dinah was even more afraid at this sight. She dropped down beside her and threw her arms around her fallen comrade.

"Helena. She's going to be fine. Barbara is strong. She'll make everything o.k." The two just sat and cried for a while; something Helena never allowed herself to do. Everything was just too overwhelming. Their world had fallen apart.

"I know. It's just…I've never had to…help…"

"Shhhhh I'm sorry Helena. I know it must be hard."

"Yah." Helena sat up pulled her knees to her chest and wiped her nose. "Let's just hope she doesn't bring that up again. She'd be pissed." They tried their hand at a laugh then got up to carry on with the assessment of what was left of their lives.


	2. Chapter 2

Reese triggered his ring knowing it was to no avail. He sat on the rooftop of his apartment building looking down on the chaos, at a complete loss for what to do.

"She'll make it O.K. I know she will."

Reese jumped at the sound of Helena's voice. "How did you…"

"You still have questions? Just stop and hold me please." Helena allowed herself, once again to fall into the comforting arms of another.

"I told the Commissioner to call Barbara's father."

"James Gordon? You told him to call Gordon? Reese…"

"Helena, it's our only choice. Oracle is hurt. She can't help us right now. We need a solution. Look at them." The two looked down at people crazily running through the city. Helena knew he was right.

"He'll call my father. I'm not ready for that."

"They can help us. We need them." He turned around to try and reason with Helena and found she had disappeared. "Damit Helena!" Reese's voice rang out in anger and frustration.

"How goes clean up Alfred? This place is a disaster."

"It's a bit overwhelming Miss Helena, but you don't look so good yourself if I might say so." Alfred had managed to sweep up all the glass and had reassembled what he could. All the computers had been turned off as well as the screens and other machines that were usually whirling day and night bringing up to date information to Barbara. The silence left was deafening.

"Alfred. What are we going to do? It's over. Barbara…"

"Miss Helena," Alfred took the girl in his arms, "it has only just begun. It's a new chapter in your lives. Things are very different. You have each other and that will get you through."

"Do we Alfred? Do we have each other?"

"Well, as long as we all keep focused and try to contain what we do have control over. I think we'll be fine eventually. Dr. Tompkins will be here in the morning to look at Miss Barbara." He passed her the broom and the two of them continued sweeping.

"One thing that we will eventually need to confront is Mr. Brixton."

"What about him. We can't bring it up right away. Barbara will be dealing with enough."

"It's just that we never found a body. His body was nowhere to be found. Perhaps you could…"

"I'll get Reese on that right away. Maybe someone took him to the hospital or something. She'll want to have all the ends tied up. I'll be right back." Helena got on the elevator and was gone without a thought given to the way she had left Jesse earlier.

He was still sitting on the roof when she found him again. "Are you just going to sit here all night?"

"You ever going to stop disappearing on me?"

"I didn't….it's just hard with my dad. I don't like to talk about it."

"Yah…got it…"

Helena ignored his apparent disappointment with her and carried on with business. "Jesse, we have to call all the hospitals and try to find Wade's body."

"I thought it was…"

"No one ever found it. We need to find it before Barbara wakes up."

"Someone may have inadvertently taken it to the hospital. I'll make some calls. I'll meet you back over at the Clock tower. I'll pick up some food from my house and bring it over."

"Are you kidding? The city is in shambles, but Alfred has us well-taken-care of. Just do what you can then come over." She smiled and stood there staring at Reese as he began dialing his phone.

"What are you doing?" Noticing her mischievous grin.

"Oh. Just waiting for you to dismiss me Detective. Didn't want to just disappear on you!"

"You are impossible."

"I know." And with a laugh, she disappeared.

Barbara's first feelings were of panic. A rush of them came back to her as she lay in bed. Something in the back of her mind told her better than to try to move around too much. She could feel her breathing speeding up. There were no covers on her, yet she could feel her temperature rising. "I need some air." Pressing her arms to her side, she tried sitting up, but she only made it a couple of inches before falling back, riddled with pain. "Shit! This is exactly the de'javu I never wanted to feel. I'll just have to do it the hard way." She tried rolling to her side, but found herself almost completely immobile. This caused her breathing to get even more out of control.

Her eyes sped around the room. She was alone. What was worse, her chair was nowhere to be found. "Computer. Screen." Nothing. No response from the screen beside her bed. "Computer! Screen Damit!" She began to blow out of her mouth trying to stop the tears from coming, but still, they came. Her arms were even too weak to raise to her eyes. "What's happened? Why can't…"

"Barbara! Barbara, I'm right here. You're o.k.! Alfred!" Helena bound across the room to Barbara's side and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Helena? Why can't I…"

"Shhhh. Barbara, Dr. Tompkins is coming this morning. Don't you remember anyth…"

"Yes. I remember what happened, but I can't even lift my arms and my back is killing me. Did we…" She stopped then looked toward Helena.

Helena didn't want to answer any of Barbara's questions. "Barbara. Can you just let yourself rest? We'll talk later." She stood up to leave and noticed Barbara's feeble attempt to stop her. Her arm only slightly reaching from beside her still body. "Come on Barbara. I'll stay, but let's just get you better before we get back to business as usual. K Oracle?" She sat back down and took Barbara's hand in hers.

"Don't call me that. I know what happened to Wade. I know I took Harley down. I know I left the transponder on too long. I messed up. I had no choice!"

"Well, her spirits are at least up. Good morning Ms. Gordon." Helena jumped up and moved away to make room for Dr. Tompkins.

"I'm fine. There's medicine in my closet. Inject it into my spine. I'll be good as new. Well, as good as…"

"You're not getting off that easily. Calm down. Let me check you out." Dr. Tompkins was very professional as she looked over her should to nicely gesture to Helena to leave them alone.

Helena left without argument.

"Now Babs, let's be honest here. How long did you use it this time? What's left?" There was a long uncomfortable silence. There were only a couple people Barbara couldn't fool and Leslie was one of them.

"I…um…I apparently don't have much. I amped the transponder up and used it for about 6 hours…"

"Barbara you…"

"and…I think I remember swinging down from the roof and through the clock face and fighting off several men and Harley Quinn." Though she knew how serious her injuries were, there was a slight grin on her face as she thought back over how good it had felt to fight and fly and jump. "We didn't…"

"I know. You didn't have a choice. It's awful out there. Reminds me of…"

"I know. I can imagine. Urggg." Pain shot down Barbara's back again.

"O.k. Let's take care of you. Squeeze." She handed Barbara a rubber ball attached to a small machine. "Give me you other…"

Barbara tried, but couldn't lift her arm. "I can't…"

"Sorry. Squeeze." She repeated the test on Barbara's left hand. Then she set the machine down and rolled Barbara onto her side. "Nice!"

"Harley tossed me into the counter. That much I remember."

Dr. Tompkins continued by running typical motor tests on Barbara's legs. When she was satisfied, she packed her kit up and sat back down beside Barbara.

"That bad huh?"

"Barbara. You've lost a lot. Your arms are at about 60, your back needs to be x-rayed; there are almost definitely fractures. Your legs…"

"Yah…already know that part…"

"Barbara. You'll need to stay in bed at least until we get your back x-rayed. It's going to take a lot of work…"

"I can do it. I've done it before…"

"It might not work this time is what I'm trying to say. We talked about your using the transponder. It fries your nerves. Destroys them. Without running tests, I don't know how much damage you did after you tinkered with the amps. You should have…"

"There wasn't any time Leslie. Helena was compromised. It was terrible…" Tears filled her eyes.

"I know. I can imagine how hard it was. I'm going to help you. Are you feeling alright otherwise? I mean mentally. Where are you?"

"I don't know. I think it's coming back in waves. I'll be fine. You know me."

"Yah I do. I also know that you tend to think you're invincible and you don't need anyone. This time you will. You're going to need a lot of help."

"I'll be fine."

"I'll be in touch. I'm going to get some things and come back tomorrow to run some tests and x-ray your back. You stay in that bed!"  
"Yah, cause I have a choice right?"

"Sorry Babs…"

"See you tomorrow. Tell them to leave me alone for a while. I need some sleep or something."

"Fine." Leslie had no intention of leaving Barbara to fend for herself. She closed Barbara's door and turned to find Helena, Alfred and Dinah sitting on the couch as if it were a hospital waiting room. She approached them. "You must be Carolyn's daughter. Dinah isn't it?"

"Yes. Dinah."

"I helped deliver you. You're what, 16, 17?"

"16. How's Barbara?"

Leslie went over to the couch and poured herself some tea from the table. "You know Babs. She pushes too hard."

"Dr…"

"Helena. I'll be honest with you. She's not good. I don't know how much you know about the transponder, but…"

"I know she said it could make her worse and that it hurts her to use it."

"Yes. She's going to be having some pain. I've given her enough medicine that even she won't be able to fight off resting for a while. You should know, even though she doesn't want you to, that she lost a lot this time…"

"She used it all night."

"…her arms are only at 60 right now. Her legs are the same with no broken bones, but I will have to x-ray her back tomorrow. There are some problem areas. She's got a long road ahead of her…"

"But she'll be fine; back to her normal self anyhow…"

"Dinah. That depends on her. I have no way of knowing what will come back. The transponder actually destroys nerves. It's like when she was first injured. We didn't know what would come back and what she'd lost permanently. Same thing now." Looking around at the uncertain faces of Barbara's now-family, Leslie continued. "You know Babs, she won't want it, but she'll have no choice, she's going to need a lot of help, especially at first. Like I said, she doesn't even have her arms fully right now…"

"We'll do whatever it takes."

"I know Helena, but she might not be in great spirits when this all sets in."

"I've been there for that before, so has Alfred. We're not leaving."

"She's lost a lot more than her legs this time. Wade, her secrets, her life as she knew it. It's all going to be working against you."

"We'll keep on top of her. You have my word. She never quit on me, I'm not leaving her." Helena got up to walk Leslie to the door. "Thanks Dr…."

"Leslie. Please."

"Tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow morning. Good-bye."

As Helena turned back to Dinah and Alfred, she took a deep breath. "I'm going to kill her when she's better."

"I know Barbara needs us right now, but what are we going to do about the city?" Dinah was staring out the gaping hole in the clock tower wondering what their future held.

"Well, she might be hurt in body, but we can still pick her mind. I'm sure she'll be swimming with ideas in the morning; more than we'd like."

"Yah."

"Get some sleep kid. We'll need our rest. I'll go and sit with her for a while. Alfred you too. Go on. Get some rest."

"See you in the morning Miss Helena."


	3. Chapter 3

"I did a full battery of tests. There's a lot of bruising. I'm not sure what she can feel, but if she has any feeling in her back at all, it's not good. She'll be in some pain, but she didn't want the pain killers. Still, nothing is broken. She's tougher than I gave her credit for."

"What about her arms? When…"

"Like I said before, it's up to her and she'll need some help. I'm giving her a day or so to rest, but she needs to start working to get them back. She should take it slow at first, but the sooner the better. I am more concerned with the city. Have you girls been working on the antidote for Harley's mess?"

The girls looked at each other then at Dr. Tompkins. "Only Barbara knows what to do. Commissioner Gordon has been contacted. And…"

"Your father?"

"I'm guessing he may decide to grace us with his presence, but I'm not holding my breath. Right now, our best bet is to get Barbara back into the game, at least mentally. She'll know what to do."

"I'll call James myself and do what I can to help organize some kind of subsistence while you guys are working on the cure. Helena, get in there and don't take any of her crap." Leslie laughed and took Helena's hand one last time before leaving.

"Yah." Helena took a deep breath and grabbed Dinah's hand. "Come on. I'm not going in alone. No pain killers can only add up to mean Barbara. Alfred? Maybe some breakfast?"

"Good luck girls." Alfred turned and left the room with some ideas of his own for aiding in the remedy to the city's psychological pandemonium.

Barbara was sitting up against a backdrop of pillows. "So…um…how do you feel?" Dinah pulled two chairs up as she watched Helena begin tidying the blankets atop Barbara's lap.

"Helena stop!"

"I just…"

"Don't know how to deal with this. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just…." Barbara seemed agitated.

"Barbara, we have to do something about the people, they're going crazy still. It's scary out there. Jesse is organizing his people, but many of them were compromised as well. How are we…?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what we've got to use out there. There may be nothing I can…"

"You have to Barbara. It's up to you." Dinah stood up and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"Dinah! I don't know if you've noticed, but the Clock tower is destroyed, the computers are offline, and I can't even lift my…"

"O.K. That'll be enough girls. I've brought breakfast. We are all going to eat, then you, Miss Barbara, are either going to get some rest or you're getting out of bed and helping us with clean up so that we can get on this antidote." Alfred went about setting up for breakfast and the girls just sat quietly following his orders. Alfred had never used that tone with them.

After they finished their breakfast, which seemed to go on forever as they sat and ate without talking, Helena began stacking the dishes. Just as she finished, Alfred came back into the room.

"Miss Barbara, I'm afraid your chair was destroyed in the events of the evening. I took the liberty of getting…"

"No. I'm not going to use that. Just bring my other chair, I'll fix it."

"Miss Bar…"

"That's it Barbara! You've got to stop for just a sec here. Get over yourself. What's the big deal?"

Barbara laughed under her breath. "What's the big deal? You're right Helena. Just bring it over here."

Alfred left the two girls to talk it out, sure that they'd come to some reasonable end. Helena stepped up. After all, it was a state of the art manual chair. The best in its class.

"Fine. Now you sit in it for a second." Barbara had a million gestures she would have liked to have been making at that moment, but fate had dealt her a cruel hand.

Helena just stared at her with an "I'm not playing your games" face on. "Barbara come on. We should at least get you out of bed for a bit. We've got to get the computers up A.S.A.P."

"Sit!" The pools surrounding her big green eyes suggested to Helena that playing along might be the way to go.

"Fine Barbara. I'll…." As Helena moved into the chair, a chill covered her body. She pulled her legs up onto the rest and, for lack of another more comfortable placing, put her hands in her lap. "You satisfied?"

"You?" The two women locked eyes for what seemed like five minutes.

"Barbara, it's not permanent. Every other…"

"Don't Helena…"

"I'm just saying every other person who is paralyzed has to use one of these. Get over yourself for a minute. Can't you just hop in and come out and fix the computers so we can find a way to end the chaos out there?"

"No Helena! As a matter of fact, I can't. This time it's different. You're going to have to lift me out of this bed and into that chair and then you're going to have to push me out to my…to the computers and lift my hands onto the computer. Are you getting the picture? I screwed up Helena! We lost! Get someone else to help out for a change. I'm no help anymore. I…"

"…You're not the Barbara I know." Helena sprang from the wheelchair, leaving it to crash up against Barbara's bedside. As she left the room, she evaded Dinah and Alfred's view and ran to the bathroom where she began splashing cold water on her face. Unable to shake the feeling sitting in Barbara's wheelchair gave her; she bent over the toilet and began to throw up. "Shit Helena! What kind of friend are you?" She muttered between heaves.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Helena? Are you alright?"

"Yah sorry. Just…a little…you know all the excitement? I guess I'm not feeling that great. We're on our own Dinah. Get Alfred, we've got to try and get these computers back online without Barbara." She pushed passed the teenager who was just a little taken aback at the sight of the Almighty Huntress pale and disoriented for no apparent reason.

"Why? Is she not…"

"She won't help us. She's quitting."

"She doesn't have that option! Does she?"

"Yah, she does, we all do. So…in or out?" Helena turned and arched an eyebrow awaiting Dinah's response.

"In. You know I'm in, but I'm going to talk to Bar…"

"No! Come on! It's pointless. No one can reach her right now. You can't go where's she's going. I need you here to help, body, mind, heart, the whole nine yards. Got it?"

"Yes Huntress. I'll go get Alfred. He'll need to start working on getting all the power back up before we can even attempt to realign the necessary drivers to rebroadcast the antidote back across the city."

Slightly impressed by Dinah's computer savvy outlook, Helena pushed the girl onto the elevator, "You sound like Barbara. You two definitely spend too much time together!"

Together Helena and Dinah, with the help of Alfred, began piecing together what they could from the computers that weren't damaged in the fight. They worked all through the night not stopping for a break except when ordered to by Alfred.

Much to her own surprise, Barbara managed to sleep through most of the day. When she did wake for a few minutes, she was met with pain and the same nightmare she thought she'd left behind. Not once did the thought of what the others were doing out there cross her mind. She seemed truly, to have given up; quit.

"Dinah, this isn't enough is it?" Even with Helena's limited range of computer knowledge, she looked at what they had accomplished with chagrin. The Clock Tower, thought minus a considerable amount of equipment, seemed in perfect order. Oracle's realm of screens and keyboards and machines no one could decipher but her, was sparse to say the least.

Dinah just shook her head in response.

"Fine! She won't help, then we're doing things my way. We're going out there. We've got to organize and take this place back. Maybe she fine just sitting in there letting people die and destroy her city, the city she's spent her life protecting, the city she lost her legs for, maybe she's fine with it, but I'm not! You with me?"

Dinah was almost afraid not to be. "Yah. All the way, just tell me what to do."

"Ms. Helena, do you think it's wise to go out? Mr. Reese is doing what he can. You shouldn't risk it. Ms. Barbara…"

"Ms. Barbara quit Alfred. She doesn't care. We have no choice. Besides, I risk it every night. Why's tonight any different? Dinah, go to the station and tell Reese what we're doing." She fled to the back door.

"What are we doing Helena?"

"Tell him to get his best men or whatever he can muster and meet me on top of the library."

"Alright." With that Helena was gone. "Are you going to keep an eye on Ora…Barbara?"

"I always do. I'll even have a chat with her and see what I can do about her…ummm…mood." Alfred began clearing plates and busying himself.

"Yah, good luck with that!" She boarded the elevator and left.

Meanwhile, Helena had a few stops of her own to make. First was Arkam. Though everyone had managed to remain locked up in the chaos, it was crazy inside. There were no guards. Just yelling and screaming. From all except one. "Good evening Harley." The creator of all the mayhem was huddled in a corner with a horrified look about her. "How did that go? Will you do anything I say?" The Huntress crept into the cell and grabbed Harley up off the floor and held her by the neck.

"You've won for now Ms. Kyle, grrrr" she squealed between short breaths, "but you've no idea what lies in store for you and the others. I'm guessing by now, Barbara has had to come to grips with the death of Wade…"

"We didn't find a body…"

"Oh. He's very much dead. I assure you…"

"You shut up Harley!" Helena gave her a good toss back into her corner.

"…And", she thoughtlessly continued,… "…though Babs took me out in the end, I know I gave the cripple a good toss or two. How's she feeling? Defeated? Like she's had to face it all again…"

"That's enough! I don't have the same relationship with killing people that the rest of the Bat-clan does!" Having gained no ground, Helena left in a huff.

Back at the Clock tower, Dinah was rummaging around trying to find the keys to the Hummer. She saw Barbara's coat hanging by the door. "Maybe they're in her jacket still." She pushed her hand into the pockets of the jacket and came up with two prizes. "Score! Alfred!" She dropped the jacket and ran to the floor beneath the balcony.

"You found the keys? Then off with you. You need to be on your way Miss…."

"Alfred. I found more than the keys. Do you know how Barbara reversed the trance on Helena while they were fighting?"

"There was a fight?"

"Well, Helena kicked the…never mind, yes, and Helena had Barbara on the ground and she was ready to choke her when Barbara pulled this out and shined it into her eyes reversing the hypnosis!"

"Well done. You sound like Miss Barbara. Take it with you, see if Miss Helena has any ideas and I'll talk to Miss Barbara and see if we can maybe create a large one or reproduce them or something."

"Yah. Good luck with that." She quickly left, hopeful as usual. Believing she had the key to the undoing of Gotham's present hopeless condition, Dinah ran swiftly through the streets, stopping on occasion to stop a fight or put an end to a break-in, until she finally came upon Reese. "Reese?" He was talking to a group of police officers, giving them direction when he turned upon hearing her voice.

"Dinah? You seen Helena?" He dismissed his men and turned to the matter at hand.

"No. I thought she was coming to find you. Have you tried the ri…"

"The ring? Outa commission until… Well, any luck with Oracle…Barbara….yet?" Reese still had some work to do to get used to his new role in the more…subversive…angle of New Gotham's crime fighting scene. These women were now, his…colleagues…his friends.

"Ummm…no. Not exactly." Dinah pulled the disc out of her pocket. She handed it to Reese.

"Whatcha got there?"…Both Reese and Dinah jumped as Huntress landed almost exactly in the center of their exchange, grabbing the disc in mid pass.

"Why do you…"

"Helena!"

"Oh…calm down you two. When are you going to get used to me?" She laughed…then, just as quickly, her laugh turned sober as she looked at what she had captured. "Where'd you…."

"I was looking for the keys to the Hummer and I just took a stab at them being in Barbara's jacket…"

"My jacket."

"Helena! Focus please…"

"Yah…sorry."

"I poked around in the pocket and this was in there."

"It's perfect really. Great job Dinah. We'll just get Bar…"

"Not a chance. But Alfred is working that angle as we speak." Both girls looked to Reese.  
"What is it?" He questioned.

"Do you remember when Helena was hypnotized and had us trapped in the freight elevator? She and Barbara fought and Barbara shot her a glare from this. It reversed the spell so to speak."

"Right. Great! So she can just make more or make them on a larger…"

"You don't understand Reese." Helena broke in…"She's can't…she won't help us…not now anyway. It's too much for her right now."

"I'm sorry Helena. That was insensitive."

"No, it's true, she should be helping us. I mean, look at this mess. She'd make me…"

"Guys? Let's focus. Who's the adult here?" Dinah crossed her arms and arched her eyebrows.

"Right. Reese. Can you get someone on this? Do you have anyone you think can try and get this broadcast?"

"I have a couple ideas. Dinner at the Clock tower? I'll go get things rolling. Be care…"

"Reese…"

"Right. Sorry."

The girls turned to leave. "Reese? Any word on Wade?"

"I've got someone on that right now. I'll let you know tonight. They are personally checking all the hospitals."


	4. Chapter 4

Her mind flooded with thoughts, Barbara only managed to sleep for an hour or so at a time, unable to fight the medication. Initially, pain would waken her bringing her immediately to the realization that she'd made, perhaps, a bad judgment on the amount of time she allowed the transponder to be her legs. Though she always knew everything was temporary when she used the transponder, it was still painful coming back to the realization that she was physically, the lesser of the superhero team. All day it was the same, pain, realization, then thoughts of Wade. These were the worst, the most painful. His family must be wondering what happened to him. Surely by now, they know he's dead or they are at least looking for him.

"Miss Barbara?" Alfred tapped lightly on the door before entering.

"It's fine Alfred. I'm awake."

"How are you feeling?" He set down the tea tray and reached down pushing Barbara's bangs off her forehead, a display of physical affection he reserved for only the most severe situations.

"I'm sorry Alfred….I didn't…"

"Shhhh. What can I do for you Miss Barbara?"

"Ummm…I need to…I can't…Could you…"

"You'd maybe like some help into your chair so you can…"

"I won't get in that chair, not now, not ever! Help me to the bathroom please."

"Yes Miss Barbara." Alfred bent down and helped put Barbara's arm around his neck, then lifted her into his arms. He began toward the bathroom passing by the wheelchair and typical of Alfred, decided to be proactive despite the consequences. They proceeded toward the bathroom where he helped her, remembering back years ago when she first learned of her paralysis. Then too, she went through a period of refusing to use the wheelchair, preferring to lie in bed all day, periodically inputting data into her computer. As they passed back by the chair, Alfred made his move. He turned around and placed her in the wheelchair.

"Alfred! Don't even think about it." She was helpless to fight back. A feeling Alfred hoped would be an added incentive for her to improve her current status.

Alfred bent down and secured her legs on the rest and reached around back of her pulling a strap around securing her now weakened muscles. "Miss Barbara? In the words of Miss Helena, 'Get over yourself!'" Smugly folding his arms, he left the room.

"Alfred!" She was crying now. It broke Alfred's heart, but he knew it was for the best. _That's what I get for having a teenager and a smart-assed 25 year-old around. He sounds just like her._ She sat fuming, unable to do anything about it. As she looked to her bed, it wasn't that far. She used all the strength she could muster in her shoulders to lift her hands, one at a time, onto the rims of the chair. Her stomach turned at how pathetic and helpless she was at that very moment. Still, the fact that she could feel the muscles in her stomach helping to propel her every-so-slowly forward, gave her the slightest bit of hope. Hope she'd keep from the others and from herself for days to come. Hope that was all but crushed as she reached her destination and determined it would be impossible to transfer herself into the bed. She could feel that her right arm was stronger, so she used it steady herself as she moved her left arm into place and reached down to move her feet from the chair. _Here goes nothing!_ She reached for a steady spot on the bed, but felt her arm give out beneath the pressure. The chair flew out from under her, also giving way to the pressure. The one thing she was capable of doing, she'd discovered in the last day or two, was cry and as she lay on the floor, she sobbed.

Watching just outside the door, Alfred allowed the tears to flow before coming to her rescue. Before he determined she had cried long enough, he heard company.

"Alfred?" Helena bounded up the stairs to find him peering into Barbara's room. "She still…"

"It's your turn."

"What's that mean?"

"Well, frankly, I'm a little afraid to go in. I took matters into my own hands again."

"Alfred, you've been hanging around me too long. I'm corrupting you. What's the…" She pushed the door open and saw Barbara lying on the floor beside the wheelchair. "Barbara!"

Alfred knew they'd find their way, so he closed the door.

"Helena leave me…"

"Shut up Barbara! I'm not leaving you here and I'm firing Alfred!"

"Good! Urgg.."

"I'm sorry." Helena felt Barbara wince as she gathered her from the floor. Placing her on the bed, she helped her sit up against the pillow and noticed that Barbara used her right arm to scoot into place. "So, you decided to give the chair a shot after all?"

"Shut up Helena! I had to go to the …. Alfred just put me in it. I tried to get into bed…."

"You know something Barbara? You're not invincible. You've taught me more physically and otherwise than anyone I know, but you're not invincible. There are limitations and from time to time, we all get hurt…"

"Yah, but everyone else gets better. I will never be what I used to be Helena!"

"Since when did that stop you? This isn't going to help you. You were hurt last night. That's all. You need to rest and recover, so you can help us."

"You don't get it Helena. You can't begin to understand."

The silence they were getting used to, filled the room before Helena finally ended it. "Yah, you're right. I didn't lose anything. I didn't betray my best friend, get the man she loved killed, and then watch her fall helplessly to the floor. I didn't watch the pain I caused her fall from her eyes in tears. I didn't carry her lifeless body into her room only to watch her lie in more pain. You're right. I don't understand. You know what? The only thing I don't understand is you!" Helena put another pillow at Barbara's side to steady her then stormed out of the room.

Why did it always take a disaster to bring out their true feelings? How could two people spend so much time together and care so much and show it so little. They needed each other now more than ever, but someone would have to give.

"Miss Helena?"

"Save it Alfred. She's impossible. Why does she always get to be the one giving help? Why are we always looking to her? Why won't she let me help her?"

Alfred went to pour two cups of tea, but judged the situation and thought better of it. Instead, he pulled out two small glasses from the cupboard and filled them with ice. He finished them off with a smooth fount of vodka. "You weren't around when Miss Barbara first found out about her legs. Of course it was hard, but for her, it was more like failure than loss. She wasn't mourning a loss; she was beating herself up for failing. It's her way Helena. If it were you…"

"If it were me, I'd kill myself! I'd get really pissed off and make matters worse. But Barbara is better than I am. She's stronger. She overcame her disabilities. We need her. She's the foundation." She finished off her drink and stood up.

"Have you shared that with her?"

"Sort of. But I keep getting angry. I'm not the pep talk type…"

"And Miss Barbara knows that. Have you told her about the disc?"

"No…Reese has someone working on it. He's coming over later for dinner, we'll see what he's got, and then we'll tell her. I need some fresh air. I'll be back for dinner. Thanks for the drink Alfred."

"Certainly." As always, Alfred was left to deal with things on his own, and his track record, at least for the last couple of days, wasn't good.

"We've still a couple hours of good sunlight. Let's get some in here." Alfred dropped a tray off at Barbara's bedside then followed by drawing the curtains open.

She winced at the first sign of light. "Alfred why are you doing this?"

"You need some sunlight and I thought better of trying to put you in the chair again and get you out on the balcony where you should be."

Barbara grimaced at Alfred's double talk then looking out the window at the clear blue sky, she relented. "Thank you Alfred. Do you think I could just sit for a while on the chaise?" She reached slowly down toward the cup of water and medicine on the tray beside her bed.

Alfred watched. "Shall I…"

"Sorry. I just can't steady my hand enough. Thank you."

Alfred walked over and administered the medicine. "O.k. On 3 Miss Barbara." He placed her arm around his neck and supported her knees and back in his arms. "1…2…"

Barbara turned her head away trying to ignore the situation. Once on the chaise, she steadied herself and closed her eyes. "Thanks again Alfred."

"Not at all Miss Barbara. This morning, Miss Dinah was searching for the keys to the truck. She and Miss Helena are trying their best to establish some order in this mess. Anyhow, she found your jacket from last night and in it, the keys to the truck and a small mirrored disc. I believe she mentioned your fighting with Helena and using the disc to reverse the hypnosis. Was it wise for you to fight Miss…"

"It was a calculated risk Alfred. I had to get close enough to her to shoot the reflection into her eyes directly. What are they…never mind…it doesn't matter." She found herself trying to sit up in the heat of the discussion. Wanting, instead, to wallow in her depression, she relaxed her body.

"They gave it to Reese. He is having one of his men look at it to try and use it to break the city's hypnosis." Alfred sat on a chair beside Barbara.

"Good for him. I told them they didn't need me." Her jaw clinched and she breathed out heavily trying to control her mood.

"You know that is not true. You know Reese will be unable to duplicate your work on that large a scale, the computers are in shambles, the girls, Helena needs you…"

"Stop! That's enough. I told you. I'm finished. We are all finished. What's the use anyhow?"

Alfred stood up and began tidying up the room, unable to sit idly any longer. "Well, for starters, someone needs to stop this madness." He peered out the window to catch a glimpse of some looting stragglers.

Barbara was quiet. Her eyes closed.

"Will you be needing anything else?"

There was no answer.

"Very well, I'll be back in to help you to bed. Dr. Tompkins will be by later with some more specific information about the tests." He walked slowly toward the door, knowing Barbara well enough to know he had struck a chord and she might have something to say.

"There comes a time Alfred, when one needs to come to the realization that they are what they are. Even if that means they will never measure up to the rest of society."

Alfred stopped just short of the door so that Barbara knew he was listening. "You've contributed so much both as Oracle and as Barbara Gordon school teacher."

"It's all a cover up. Underneath all the computers and Shakespeare, I'm just a cripple trying to fit in like I'm not." Her voice was stoic, unfeeling.

"Miss Bar…"

"The other night, when I went out with…Wade's… parents, Dinah called in an emergency, so I left the table and pretended to go to the bathroom. When I came back, I stopped to maneuver around the corner and overheard Wade's parents telling him I wasn't good enough for him because I didn't have legs that work. Even before I left, it was all his mother could do to make eye contact with me. You know? The old, fill the space with talking nonsense and eating so you don't have to have a real conversation with the disabled person gig? That's what it all comes down to. I was never good enough and now who's… who's going to…" She pulled her hand up to her eyes and began to cry.

"Shhhh." Alfred hurried to her side.

Between tears and halted breaths, Barbara choked out, "Someone has to call them. It should be me. But what will I tell them? Did they even recover his…body? There can't even be a funeral in all this…"

"Maybe that's the reason for you to work on getting up and back to work…"

"Don't Alfred. I expect more from you than subterfuge. I'd like to go back to bed please."

Alfred spoke no further. He just scooped her up into his arms and laid her, once again, atop the bed and left the room.


	5. Chapter 5

"Wade Brixton…ugh…ugh…I.."

"Mr. Brixton don't talk. You need to go to surgery NOW! "

"Barbara. I need to tell…." As the drugs flowing into his system, his voice trail off and Wade was whisked off to surgery.

Police officers swarmed the hospital room trying to match lost people with injured people. It was a mess. Reese's men had special instructions to locate Wade. They questioned all the nurses at the station, but the only people who could identify Wade were now with him in surgery.

"Fine. Keep looking. This is top priority. Call me as soon as you hear anything." Reese activated the secret button and the elevator to the Clock Tower began ascending. As the doors opened, he could feel the thickness in the air. "Helena?" Reese looked around, but found no one.

"Ahhh. Master Reese. Miss Helena went out for some air…"

"That bad eh?"

"Miss Barbara isn't exactly herself right now. They had words. I've made dinner. It'll be ready soon. Make yourself comfortable." Alfred went up to the kitchen to finish dinner and Reese followed.

"Is Dinah in with her now?"

"Heavens no. No one dares go in. It was a difficult day. Have you had any luck with the antidote disc? Or with Master Wade's whereabouts for that matter?" Alfred slid Reese a half full glass of bourbon.

"Ummmm… it's a mess out there. I have every available officer searching the hospitals and shelters and streets for the body. I'm hitting dead ends with the disc as well. As a matter of fact," Reese's voice trailed off as he shot the bourbon in one gulp and began down the hall towards Barbara's room.

"Master Reese? I don't think…"

"We don't have the same relationship…I don't care if she yells at me Alfred…" He was determined. Alfred didn't see any point in stopping him. Matters couldn't get much worse.

As Reese approached the door, he shook off the approaching effects of the bourbon and knocked. He wasn't surprised that there was no answer. He decided to go in anyway.

"Oracle? I have to talk to you." Though he had only seen Barbara a handful of times face to face, it struck him as out of the ordinary to see her just sitting in bed staring off into space.

She looked up. "You can just call me Barbara."

"Fine. Barbara, I need your help…"

"Did Helena send you? I can't help you Reese. I…"

"Listen, I don't need to know the details or anything personal…I'm here as a desperate member of the GCPD. We need you. Your dad would…"

"Don't pretend to know anything about my dad and don't come in here with your business as usual attitude and pretend you don't know…"

"I'm not letting you do this to me too. My men can't figure out the disc. Just help us. I've put a call through to your father. He'll be contacting me soon."

"Good, then he can help you when he calls. Leave Detective."

"No. And you can call me Jesse. I am begging you…"

"You don't need me. You need my computers. Just get someone on that and they'll be able to broadcast the antidote. Now will you go? Please?" She allowed her eyes to meet with Jesse's at that moment.

"Barbara?" He walked over and sat beside her on the bed. Taking her hand in his, he began to massage her hand. "Helena doesn't know this, but I have a brother who contracted some rare form of pneumonia when he was young and slowly lost the use of his arms and legs…"

"What's your point Detective?" She tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but was unable.

"I'm just relating…"

"You can't relate. What do you want? Please let my hand go…I.."

"Let me help you Barbara. We need you and you need us. We can't do this without you."

Barbara almost allowed herself to be touched by his sincerity, but her recent evolution wouldn't allow it. Still, she chose to let him off more easily than the others.

"I can't help you Reese. It's over. You're welcomed to take whatever you need from the Clock Tower or work here. I don't care. I just can't help."

"Un-uh…You can't or you won't? Did you see yourself last night? You were amazing. You were so brave. You all fought so hard. You're willing just to let it all go?"

"It's already gone. I messed up. It wasn't enough. Now I …"

"Have a tough road ahead of you? Who doesn't…"

"O.K. That's enough. Get out!" He had crossed a line. Jesse left to join the others defeated by Barbara's new outlook.

"You are path…" luckily, Jesse's phone rang and interrupted him. "Reese here. Just a minute." Jesse turned to Barbara and covered up the phone. "I have to take this, but we're not finished here. I'll be back." He caught her off guard as he bent down and kissed her forehead before leaving.

Reese walked out into the hallway where he was met by a wide-eyed Helena. "Man. Ya got a death wish?"

"Give me a minute. I think they have info. On Wade." He covered the phone and listened to the officer on the other end as he planted a kiss on Helena's forehead. "Yes. Brixton. Do you have him or not? Fine. Call me ASAP!" He shoved his phone back into his pocket. " Damn it!"

"What? Is it Wade?" Helena leaned back against the wall.

"There are so many people in surgery or just out or unidentified that they are having trouble. He heard a nurse say the name though, so we might have something."

"So…how's she doing? I mean you got out alive…that's good!" Helena took Reese by the hand and they walked upstairs to dinner.

"She's really messed up Helena. I mean she's in a bad mood and physically…"

"I know, she really messed herself up this time."

"Was it the transponder?" The two sat down as Alfred brought dinner to the table.

"Where's Dinah Alfred?"

"She'll be down directly Ms. Helena."

"Yah. She's used it before, but not for that long and it's never really worked that well. I mean, she's used it as a boost for her chair and once when she got some crazy idea that she could beat the world's toughest martial arts warrior, but other than that, it's always been sketchy. I guess she amped it up or something. Amped herself right back into that chair."

"Well it was never meant to last forever right?"

"No….I guess not, but it hurts a lot for her to use it and Dr. Tompkins always warns that it could actually damage more nerves. But I guess none of that mattered to her. Let nothing stand in the way of the mission. That's her motto." Helena rambled on not paying attention to the amount of food she was piling on her plate.

"Hey! Save some for us Helena!" Dinah laughed and distracted Helena as she came to the table. "More talk of our fearless leader? How's she doing? Anyone dare to go in today?"

"Yah. I did."

Dinah glanced at Helena who just shrugged her shoulders in response.

"And how did that go exactly?"

"Not well. We've got to get her to help. My men are coming up empty." Reese made eye contact with Alfred as he plead his case.

"Well, we've all tried and that'll be next to impossible. I mean, it's different this time. She's different." Helena looked up at Alfred who nodded in agreement. She continued, "she needs closure Jesse. She needs to put Wade to rest…"

"You know that's impossible. There are hundreds of inured and dead. They all want funerals, they all want closure. She needs…"

"Jesse, this is different. She's my…"

"Helena, I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying…"

"I know. It's just I can't think of anything else. I don't know how to get her passed this." The three of them sat and continued eating dinner in silence. They were all riddling their minds with ways to help Barbara, ways to help themselves. All they could think of was the chaos that filled their heads and filled the streets of New Gotham.

_What was I thinking? A seven year run, that's not even that impressive. Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone? First I just couldn't be content with being Barbara Gordon, teenager, college graduate. I had to be more, I had something to prove. I had to be Batgirl. Then…well, I was a dealt a bad hand. Thousands of people get hurt. Thousands are injured. I could have learned to live within the chair. But I had to become the Oracle, I had to temp fate. I had to get Helena involved, and Dinah? She's only a kid. Not only that, but I had to walk, I had to try, I had to be the hero. I'm not a hero. I failed. Sure, I took Harley down, but Helena could have done that. The police. My dad. Why couldn't I just ask for help? I need help. I need help. I can't…"_

"Ms. Barbara! Ms. Barbara! Wake up…" Alfred shook her as she continued yelling out self accusations.

Finally her eyes sprang open. "I need help…I can't…"

"Shhh… Barbara. Shhhh." Helena sat on the bed and grabbed Barbara up in her arms. "Barbara!"

Barbara came to and found herself in Helena's arms. She looked into her eyes and began to cry. "Helena…"

"Shhhh…" Helena motioned to Alfred to leave. As the door shut, the two of them began to cry together. Both for the same and both for different reasons.

"Helena I'm so sorry. I was so selfish. I didn't think of what you wanted. I didn't think of Dinah, or Wade. I just..."

"You just did what you thought was right. You cared for us, you took us in…"

"I wrecked you life. Now…"

"Now we've got some problems, but more importantly, we've still got each other Barbara. I love you. I want to help you. I don't care about the city; I don't care about anything else. I just want to help you Barbara." As Helena passed words through sobs, she felt Barbara almost collapse, her sobs giving into exhaustion. Helena held her in her arms for a while longer allowing her to rest in the comfort of her arms before helping her to settle back into bed.

As she left the room, she heard Barbara whisper, "Thanks for understanding Helena."

"Is she o.k.? Did you get her calmed down?" Dinah stared at Barbara's door even after Helena had passed.

"She's sleeping. She was just having a bad dream. I don't think she's any different. At least not consciously. We definitely need to find Wade. At least it'll be something."

"What will it be Helena? She thinks he's dead. The only thing that would make a difference would be if he weren't dead." Dinah slid down the wall beside Barbara's room wracking her brain for answers.

"Mr. Brixton?" As Wade came to, the room was spinning. "Mr. Brixton? You're I a hospital. You were stabbed. Is there someone we can call?" He finally managed to lock eyes with the nurse.

"I'm in the…."

"Hospital. Who should we call? You are going to have to stay here for a while longer. I'd be happy to call someone. Before you went into surgery, you mentioned Barbara?"

Wade was not able to place that name. "Barbara. Yes. Can you call my parents please?"

"Yes certainly. Is your mom's name Barbara?"

"No. Just call….ughh.." He swept the sheet off and tried to sit up, but was met with considerable pain.

"What's the number? You have to stay calm; you'll split the incision and risk infection. You almost died." She passed him a pen and paper.

After scribbling down a number, he grabbed his side again. "Who's Barbara?"

"I don't know Mr. Brixton. I'll call your parents and get the doctor in here directly.

Wade lay and wait, sorting through what little he knew about his situation. He reached for the remote control and turned on the television. What he saw only compounded his foggy state of mind. Live cameras following chaos at every turn. _More of the same today. It's been four days since Harley Quinn made her mark on New Gotham. Though Harley is in custody, countless inmates, patients, and otherwise dangerous people have taken over the streets. They seem to be under some sort of hypnosis. Can Gotham City survive once again?_

Something clicked in his mind. _Hypnosis_? _Oh God! Harley?_ The memories were now rushing back to him.

"Son? I'm Dr. Harvey. You were stabbed. It's a wonder you got here in one piece. You lost a lot of blood. You've also had considerable damage to your abdominal organs. It'll be a while before you should get out of bed, then you'll have some work ahead of you getting your strength back. Still, I expect a full recovery."


	6. Chapter 6

Barbara decided that rather than have a repeat of the previous day's tantrum, she'd at least consent to using the chair to get to and from the bathroom and that she'd ask for help at least in that matter.

"Maybe we ought to get you a bell or something." Helena sauntered in to check on Barbara.

"Funny." Barbara slowly began to reach toward the covers. Helena took a step toward her as a mere reaction, but caught herself.

"So, I was just getting ready to go out and help Jesse a little. Thought I'd see if there was anything I could get you or if you wanted to chat or anything." Helena was becoming fidgety. As a last result, she put her hands in her pockets.

"Ummm….I…" Barbara was trying to focus on grasping the blanket and uncovering herself.

"Oh Hell. I'm sorry Barb. I don't have all night. You know I'd love to be the motivational one here, but that's not exactly my strong point." Helena shed her coat and went to Barbara's aide.

"Helena…"

"Save your energy. You'll need it. I'm not doing everything for you if you get my drift." She pulled the covers off Barbara's legs and stood back to assess the situation. "Well, what'll it be? Do I have to carry you all the way or are you over the chair thing?"

Barbara almost appreciated Helena's frankness. "I'm over it. But…I can't really…"

"You'll be able to push yourself soon enough Barbara. Don't stress out. On three. K?"

"Yah." She lifted her arm for Helena to take.

"One, two, three…" Helena easily moved Barbara from the bed to her wheelchair. "Man Barbara. You've got to eat something. You're already losing weight…."

"Helena. Please."

"Sorry. Here, put your arms up here to steady yourself, I got your feet…"

"Good thing…"

"Shut up, I'm trying to be nice here." Helena began pushing Barbara toward the bathroom. It was strange. In seven years since the shooting, since Barbara had taken her in, she'd never really had to physically help her. She'd never been asked. "Umm…Barbara, I know you've lost a lot Do I…I mean what should I…"

Barbara pushed her arms off the armrests and allowed her hands to grasp the wheel rims enough to stop the chair. She continued looking forward. "Leslie hooked me up with…I…can't… here's the deal," Barbara turned toward Helena. "Unfortunately, I've lost a lot of the control I had before, but life is cruel enough to allow me to retain feeling enough to be in pain and to know when I have to use the bathroom o.k.? Now Alfred can help me or you can…"

"No….I'm sorry, I want to learn. I'm just not used to seeing you like this. It's weird."

"Well, that makes two of us. Are you sure? It's not really that bad."

"I'm sure Barbara." Helena bent down and looked Barbara in the eyes. "I'm sure. Thanks for letting me."

"Yah. Like I have a choice."

Though almost overcome with a myriad of uncomfortable and unfamiliar feelings, Helena felt good as she waited outside the bathroom door for Barbara to call on her again. Barbara was always the one helping her. If she were physically hurt or confused or even sad, it was Barbara that was strong; always waiting with the poker face, the face that said, "I can handle anything that comes my way. Anything! Take my dreams, my livelihood, my identity, my legs, I can handle it. I…"

"Helena?"

"Sorry, yah, I'm here." Helena smiled and went into help Barbara. Once out of the bathroom, Helena made her way toward the bed. "Ummm..do you want to go out…"

"I want to sleep Helena."

"Don't you want to …?"

"Helena…"

"Fine." The atmosphere returned to what was now 'normal'. After moving Barbara back into bed, Helena sighed. "Do you need anything else?"

"No. Thank you." She turned her head and closed her eyes, signaling for Helena to leave.

…

"She's fine. What has Reese found out? Anything?"

"No. I'll be home soon to give you a little break." Dinah signed out and went about aiding Jesse with information at the various hospitals around town.

"Alfred? I'm going to run home and pack some things. I'll be back in a little while."

"Be careful Miss Helena. It's growing worse out there by the minute and there looks to be a storm coming."

"I will Alfred. Thanks." With a kind smile toward the butler, Helena was gone.

Alfred readied some tea and braved his way toward Barbara's room. "Ms. Barbara?" As he pushed the door open, he noticed she was sleeping, either that or in her normal pretending to sleep so people would leave her alone mode. He sighed and took the beverages back to the kitchen.

As it turned out, Barbara, tired from the trip to the bathroom and back, was soundly sleeping; a welcomed situation that had, in the past couple of days, rarely presented itself without being accompanied by bad dreams and a good deal of pain.

The sun had long since left the room replaced by clouds and a cold breeze. Though deep asleep, Barbara made a subconscious note of the breeze that brushed over her body chilling her legs though they didn't notice. As a full breeze reached past her unfeeling regions, reaching her face, her eyes opened. She looked to see the window open wide, rain pouring in. "Alfred wouldn't have left the window open", she thought to herself.

"You're right Lady, if your thinking the old man ain't around to close the window."

Her room was so dark; she couldn't see who was speaking. She didn't need to see to be alarmed. Lying quietly, she tried to focus.

"We've been trying for days to get in here. Ain't one of us hasn't been wonderin' what's up here behind this clocktower. Why's the elevator only go to the 13th floor? What with everything all crazy, we decided to sneak up and we hit the jackpot I'd say."

The man attached to the voice moved into the brief spot of light created by a break in the clouds. Barbara didn't recognize him.

"I have to admit; however, we didn't plan on there being a rich hot chick in here." He moved toward the bed. "You just gonna sit there? Or are you going to welcome me into your home." He moved closer.

"What do you want? Who are you?" Thinking it best to play the sleeping ruse instead of letting her secret out of the bag, Barbara just slowly clasped her hands on her stomach and looked seriously at the intruder.

"I just want to have a little fun, do a little looting, you know? It's the in thing in New Gotham right now. Open market on goods everywhere."

"Yah. That's what I've heard. You know it won't last. You'll be stopped."

"Yah by who? You gonna stop me?" He folded his arms and stared annoyed.

"Not hardly." She looked to the bed stand for options. Nothing. Just a bunch of medicine and her glasses.

The man followed her eyes to the same spot. "What? You sick or something? You need some of that medicine? Let me help you with that." He sauntered over to the bed stand and looked at one of the containers.

Figuring Alfred was out of commission and Helena wasn't around, Barbara decided on a role she'd never liked to play; helpless. "It's ummm…nerve stimulant. I'm paralyzed. So, how about that fun you were talking about?"

"Whatever lady." He threw the container to the ground and advanced toward Barbara.

Seeing him come closer, Barbara began struggling to move. As he leaned down, she was able to raise her right hand enough to jab him in the eye.

He threw himself back in surprise. "You crazy…my eye."

She used the covers and pulled herself to the opposite side of the bed. She had no choice, so she just allowed herself to fall off the edge. Once on the ground, the man came toward her.

The only thing that could explain her newfound strength was adrenaline. Still, she was scared; more scared than she'd ever been.

"That wasn't nice!" He lifted his leg, pulled it back and kicked Barbara square in the stomach.

Though she couldn't feel the pain an able-bodied person would have, she felt all the air leave her body. Still, she made every effort to pull herself out of his way.

"Where you going gimp? And I was all ready to take pity on you."

"No one pities me! Ughhh…" Out of energy, her face fell to the floor and she had no choice. "Helena!" she yelled out of desperation.

"There's no one here Honey." He reared back and kicked her again; this time she felt it. She felt her back hit the wall. "Oh. I'm sorry. Does that hurt? Here."

Just when she thought she'd had the worst of it, she felt him grab her hair and pull her head back.

"Here. Let's stimulate some nerves." As he shoved the pills into her mouth, she began to choke. "How's that? You want some more Lady? You want some…Ughhhh… what the…" This time it was air being shoved out of his stomach.

"Oh. Big man. You gonna go brag to your buddies that you beat the ass of a paralyzed woman?" Helena gathered the man from the pile he lay in on the floor and kicked him again. This time, he wasn't getting up any time soon. Then she ran over to Barbara.

"Helena? I can't…"

"Shhhh. I'm so sorry I left you. Here." Helena was careful as she carried Barbara out to the couch. She could almost feel her body writhing in pain. "Where's Alfred?"

"I don't…he went to the…I don't…"

"It's fine Barbara, don't try to talk."

"Ughh…Helena…" Barbara grabbed her stomach with both arms.

"What is it?" Helena didn't know what to do. In seven years, Barbara had always been the one taking care of her in one way or another.

"Get … Leslie…" Barbara passed out from pain and exhaustion.

"Damn it!" Helena looked around the room for anything, an idea, suggestion, anything at all. She truly didn't know what to do. She couldn't leave her. They definitely couldn't go outside. Her options seemed empty. Just then, like always, Alfred came to her rescue.

Startled as he entered the room, Alfred dropped his bag and hurried to Barbara's side. "What Happened?

Miss Helena?" He took Barbara's arm and checked her pulse.

"Someone got in. He had her in her room. He was kicking her and shoving pills in her mouth….and…"

"It's alright. I'm going for Leslie. Try and wake her." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a vile of smelling salt. Then got up to leave.

Helena grabbed his arm. She was afraid. The last time she'd felt this was with her mother's murder. "Hurry back Alfred."

"I will Miss Helena."

She placed the open vile under Barbara's nose. "Come on Oracle. We need you. I need you. I can't do this alone. Oracle? ORACLE? Damn it Barbara!" She gave her cheek two quick slaps.

"Don't call me that." Barbara opened her eyes.

Smiling, Helena moved back. "What? Barbara? It's your name."

"Oracle. Don't call me Oracle." She looked away from Helena.

"Hey guys!" Dinah's typically innocent and chipper voice preceded her as she flowed into the living room. Upon seeing Barbara and Helena on the couch, she moved toward them a little faster. "What happened?"

"Someone broke in and Alfred was out and I was…"

"Is she alright?"

"Hello? I am right here and can hear you two. I'm fine…urghhh…" She grabbed her stomach again. "Well except for that."

"He was kicking her and shoving pills into her mouth I shouldn't have…"

"Helena stop. You stopped him. That's what matters. Of course, I'd have preferred it if you were just a little earlier. It's at least official, feeling is returning to my back. I'm so glad."

"You're funny Barbara." Helena hated when Barbara made jokes about herself.

"Where is the guy?" Dinah reminded Helena of the unfinished business in the bedroom.

"Oh. I almost forgot. He's still in the bedroom. We'd better secure him before he wakes up." Helena got up.

"Jesse is on his way. Let him take care of it Helena. We've got some talking to do here." Dinah was more matter of fact than usual. This whole situation was making her do some quick growing up.

Helena placed a small pillow under Barbara's head and sat on the floor beside her. She too had assumed a new role. The role of a true team player, maybe even a family member. As she looked up at Dinah's serious face then over to Barbara, she felt deep love and responsibility for these people. "Let's have it kiddo."

"Barbara. You need to pull it together. I can't, for the life of me, even pretend to know what it feels like to be in your situation. The pain, physically and emotionally, you must feel I can't even imagine. There are some things though, the helplessness, the fear, the defeat….those things, I get. I think we all get those things. It's not just you. When my foster dad would come home, I knew it was just a matter of time before he would be blasting through my door to do whatever came to mind. Mostly he'd just yell, but there were times, more times than I care to think about, that he'd just start swinging. It never lasted more than a couple of minutes, but for a child, a skinny little scared girl, a couple of minutes was an eternity. All I could do was lay there and take it. I couldn't move, for fear he'd think I was resisting." She didn't even tear up as she spoke to Helena and Barbara, but surprisingly, Helena did. "Sure, I know what you're about to say, 'at least you could run or get up and crawl into bed when it was finished.' True, but that didn't make it better and it didn't fix the problem. Barbara, you're the strongest, smartest, most amazing person I've ever met. You've changed my life and I'm sure Helena feels the same. You need to pull it together. Put all you have left into getting better. Help us. You are our only hope."

All three just sat in silence. No eye contact was made. Dinah just plopped down on the opposing couch and ran her fingers through her hair.

"When I first moved in with Barbara, it was a hard time for both of us. My mom had just been killed and Barbara…Barbara had just come home from being shot and finding out she'd never be able to walk again. I never really gave it much thought at that time. She was always working out. Trainers came and went and really I just watched in amazement. In my eyes, there was nothing she couldn't do. I always felt safe with her. Then one night, I couldn't sleep or something. It was one of those few times I'd call out and just want my mom. I got up and went to Barbara's room. The door was cracked open, so I just sneaked through intent on just lying at the foot of her bed or sitting in the big chair by her bed. Instead, as the door opened, I noticed Barbara's wheelchair empty and as I looked further, I saw she was on the floor beside her bed. I didn't know what to do. I had invaded her privacy. I was sure she'd be mad at me for not knocking, but I couldn't just leave her there, so I ran in and picked her up and put her on her bed. Fixing her legs in front of her, I turned to get her chair. I didn't look back I just apologized. She never said a word. The next day, she seemed fine. She didn't talk about the night before and she didn't act strange. I wasn't sure what had happened. Had I dreamt it all? Had I…"

"No, it wasn't a dream Helena. Looking back, it's a little funny. I spent my days learning how to fend off any villain that threatened me. I became stronger and stronger and threw myself into my 'therapy' so to speak, but I always had trouble getting into that bed. Rather than admit it and have Alfred bring a new bed or fix that one, I'd go through the same thing just about 3 or 4 times per week. Sometimes I'd make it fine, but other times, like that night, I'd fall. I didn't talk about it the next day because it was humiliating and didn't make any sense. I had a responsibility to you and to your mom. I had to get through it. Right now, I just feel different because when the Joker shot me, I had someone to blame. It made getting through it easier. Right now all I see is how this is all my own fault. I have no one to blame but me."

"Barbara. If it weren't for you, I'd still be hypnotized and God knows what would have happened. You brought down Harley. What about all the mistakes I've made in the past? You're the only hope we have."

"Jesse has tried everything he can to make a copy of your disc and I'm completely exhausted from fighting…not to mention you being attacked."

Barbara struggled and groaned as she sat up. Helena moved to help her, "No. I'm up. I'm up."

"You're killing me Barbara."

"Dinah. You're right. It's my responsibility. It's just really hard. Things won't be the same this time. Still, as I was having my stomach kicked through my back tonight, I determined, it's harder to sit around and NOT do anything to just get over myself and help."

"So I spilled my guts for no reason." Dinah smiled and sat down beside Barbara.

"No. It wasn't for nothing." Helena went to Dinah. "You've changed so much in such a short time. You two are my family. Thank you for sharing." Turning from Dinah Helena looked hopefully to Barbara. "So, you'll help us Barbara?"

"I will, but please tell me Alfred is getting Leslie. All pity, joking, begging and calmness aside, I'm in a lot of pain and I'm going to need a lot of help from you two. I won't be able to do this physically. You'll have to be my…body…."

"But…"

"Dinah, we'll deal with the physical side of Barbara after we fix this mess. We don't have time now."

"K. I'm going to get you some water. Are you hungry?" Her youthfulness kicking in, Dinah jumped up.

"I'm not really up for food, but water would be great. There are some pills in my room. I need a couple."

"Oh crap! I have a bit of a mess to clean up in there. I almost forgot."

Just then Jesse walked in. "Hey girls. All of you? What a treat!"

"Hey Reese. I need your help in the bedroom." Helena knew what came out of her mouth was going to elicit giggles. Sure enough, Dinah snorted and went to get Barbara some water.


	7. Chapter 7

"So, Dinah tells me you've come to your senses? We really need you Barbara. Here, lie down. Be still."

"Yah. Got that part down pretty well Leslie."

"So, what's the plan?" Leslie prepared Barbara for a full set of x-rays.

"I honestly don't know. I guess we'll start with the disc. It's easy enough to duplicate. We can arm individuals, cops etc., with them. It's a start. That'll give me some time to get a larger version going. It'll be hard without my computers."

"The almighty Oracle minus her gadgets."

"I'll be fine."

"Well, not exactly. Your leg is broken here. Just below your knee."

"Really? Who knew? Guess there are a couple of perks."

"Funny. I hope you still have that sense of humor in a couple of days. You've got a lot of bruising. A couple of broken ribs, no bleeding inside, that I can see. That's good news. But you're going to have to take it easy. You know the ribs can cause some problems. Let me set that leg and you'll be back in business."

"In a manner of speaking." Barbara began having second thoughts about her new decision to help out; to return to her post so to speak.

"Yah. Well, you just do what you do best Barbara. That's all we need." With that, Leslie left the room.

Barbara, sort of thankful for a little alone time, certain that there was ample protection in the next room, lay thinking. Surprisingly, her mind didn't wander through plans of how to save the city or go carelessly tramping through the key elements in the formula she planned on using against New Gotham's latest criminal force. For just a moment, she thought of Wade.

"What'cha thinking about?" Dinah came in and plopped down on Barbara's bed.

"Nothin. Dinah? Are you safe to run a couple of errands? I'll need you to go underground. There's…"

"Barbara? What were you thinking about?" Dinah reached for Barbara's hand, confident the typically distant Oracle couldn't pull away from her.

"How we are going to save the city with no computers and no supplies."

"Right. Back to business as us…."

"I was thinking about Wade Dinah. I was thinking about Wade." She began to cry just a little.

"It's alright you know? For you to mourn a little. It's normal."

"Not for me." She drew her feelings to a close and slowly lifted her free hand and placed it atop Dinah's. "Can you go back underground to the old stockyards? We'll need some old material. I created the last disk in the lab which no longer exists, so we'll have to get the real thing."

"Sure. Tell me what you need."

Barbara began to refocus, using all her energy to come up with a plan; a solution. The less she focused on

her own reality, the stronger she felt.

"I had to set her leg and she's got a couple of broken ribs, but otherwise, she's good. Don't let her lie around for too long. In a couple of days, I want her out of that room. She needs to start working on her arms. I think she'll get them back with some work."

"Yah. That'll be the easy part." Helena rolled her eyes knowing Barbara would put up a fight.

"Thank you Leslie. See you in a few days?"

"Take care. Get this mess fixed will ya?"

"We're working on it."

That night everyone slept a little more soundly somehow. Just knowing Barbara was on the job again comforted them. She held them together. Even Barbara slept, albeit drug induced. As she comforted herself to sleep, once again, she felt a familiar presence. Startled at first, she began breathing heavily. "Who's there?"

"There'll be no questions Barbara; no guilt; no apologies."

She was surprised and completely not surprised all at once. Bruce's voice was so familiar, it didn't come to her as a surprise that he was in her dark room in the middle of the night. Still, seven years was a long absence. She had no reason to believe he'd show up now. "Why are you here?"

"Alfred."

"I messed up Bruce."

"What happened?"

"Harley. Long story short, she hypnotized the city, got to Helena, broke into the Clock Tower…"

"How is that all your fault?"

"It shouldn't have happened. Somewhere I missed something. I wasn't strong enough."

"It's not your fault. You can't control everything. Alfred said you were hurt."

"No worse than last time you came into my room like this. Well, maybe a little worse I guess."

"I can't help you Barbara. I can't stay."

"Then why the hell did you come?"

"I…to see…to…"

"To see what? Let me break it down for you. Things look a lot like last time you were here. People I love have died, Helena is hurting and has no parent to look to, I can't walk, and the city is in shambles…Oh and you've disappeared."

"Barbara, I…."

"Save it Bruce. We don't need you."

"I know you don't need me. I just wanted…Alfred said you weren't getting out of bed, that you wouldn't help, that…"

"I can't get out of bed Bruce!" Barbara was skipping directly to out of control mode. "I can't even lift my arms. My chair is destroyed, my lab, my computers. I'm helpless, useless."

"I'll get you another…"

"Shut up and leave. I'll manage. Your visit may be just what I needed. As if I weren't angry enough. Don't come back again Bruce. It's too hard. You created this whole myth and left us to live up to it. It's hard." With this, Barbara reached for the blanket and with surprising strength, pulled it up and turned away from the window. The breeze was gone as quickly as it had come.

Despite the disturbance, Barbara slept comfortably through the night.

…

"Where's Barbara? Why do you two look so…What's going on?" Helena blew in from a long night out in the mayhem to Alfred and Dinah sitting, laughing over a plate of eggs. "And where'd you get eggs?"

"So many questions." Dinah reached for a plate and passed it over to Helena.

"Well. Am I the only one in the dream state still? Isn't New Gotham still a mess? Where's Barbara?" Helena was getting a little upset.

"She's working out."

"What?" Confusion set in. "Not to be selfish, but why is she working out? We need an antidote."

"Already done. Reese came by and got it this morning. Should be over the television waves within the next hour.

Upon hearing this, Helena was furious and stormed out of the room in the direction of the tower gym. She kicked open the door. "What's going on Barbara?"

"Not a lot unfortunately. I can't…"

"Why didn't anyone tell me you created the antidote?"

Barbara sat against a wall trying to lift a small weight. "I created it this morning early. I just created a program to released timed junctions between reflecting surfaces and glass plates using the laws of quartz fusion and low thermal expansion. This is designed to extend a line through the center of the computer curvature and the vertex of the mirror and the principal axis to create a…"

"Hey, hey…not so early Barbara. You lost me back at quartz fusion."

"Sorry. Computer generated mirrors that can be shot through any media face; televisions, computers, you know. But I haven't had time to work on the coms yet. We couldn't get a hold of you."

"So that's it? It's over?"

"Well, the worst may be over, but we've still got clean up and a lot of loose ends to tie up. We need to be ready Helena. I need to be ready."

"Ready for what?" Helena sighed over what she'd encountered the last few minutes since she'd arrived at the clock tower. She folded her arms and looked around the room. "Where's your chair Barbara?" Then she noticed the make-shift work station set up in the corner of the room. "Barba…."

Barbara saw a potential argument and tried to preempt it. "I had to send Dinah to the dockyards this morning. She did great. She's really changed. She's…"

"Barbara?" Helena uncovered the blinking light of the transponder. "Where the hell did you even get this? I can't imagine anyone would be stupid enough to give it back to you. You're not using it!" She picked up the device.

"Put it down Helena. I have something I need to take care of."

"Yah, like what? Get enough juice to crawl to Harley's cell and spit at her? You're not up to it. You can't use this. You can't…"

"Helena. I need you to help me, not fight me."

"No!"

"Helena!"

"No Barbara. I won't watch you kill yourself. You are the most selfish person I've ever met. Do you have any idea what it's been like for me watching you try and recover just enough to be able to lift your hand to your lap? Do you…"

"That's enough! I'm never going to get enough back to find him. I need to use the transponder."

"And then what? Wade's dead Barbara! And if he weren't what are you going to do? Hobble around the streets until it gives out again and then spend the rest of your life in bed because you've completely toasted your nerves? Is that the big plan? Let me help you. I'll be your legs Barbara. I'll do whatever you want. Please don't make yourself worse. Where's your chair? Let me take you up to breakfast."

"Fine... for now Helena. We'll talk later. My chair isn't fixed yet. You can just…"

"Oh we're back to this? Can I add prideful and ridiculous to that selfish characteristic I described earlier? You still won't use a regular wheelchair?"

"Helena. Either take me up stairs or get Alfred. We're not talking about this again."

"No. You figure it out yourself! You got down here. Find someone else to enable you." Helena stormed out of the room tossing the transponder back onto the table, leaving Barbara alone.

Finding Dinah and Alfred in the same place she left them, she sat and tried to calmly have breakfast. They knew something was up.

"What could possibly be wrong Helena? Barbara did what she said she would. She's even trying to work out."

"O.K. First of all, she's not working out. She's stupidly sitting against a wall trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to lift a tiny dumbbell because she's got too much pride to ask for help and God forbid she use the stupid manual wheelchair. Second, she's working on the transponder."

With the second assertion, Alfred turned to leave.

"I can't believe you gave it back to her. She almost died Alfred."

"Miss Barbara is a grown woman. She can…"

"No Alfred, she can't. You know why? She's not in her right mind. She's my best friend in the entire world and I can't just sit by and let her commit suicide. I may as well help her toss herself off the balcony of the clock tower."

All three just sat and stared at each other for a bit. Knowing that so much went into this situation.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"We need a plan."

"You sound like her you know?"

"Yah. That was spooky, but we do. Here's what we're doing. I'm Oracle for now, which I know is a complete joke, but you two are obviously weak when it comes to her. Dinah. You go and get Jesse back on the Wade thing. I know he's out there and we've got to find him. Alfred. You are not allowed within 100 feet of her. You need to do whatever it takes to get the computers and coms back up. At least to a point where they are physically together. She'll have to get everything working."

"What about you? Frankly you're scaring me a little."

"I'm going to get that stupid chair, put her in it and work her to death like she used to do me." Helena left the room confident she had made herself clear to the others.

Determined not to let the others down, Helena went into Barbara's room and dragged the wheelchair out of the closet. Admittedly, she was a little nervous. Still, she wasn't prepared for what was in store for her. As she opened the door to the gym, she found Barbara in the same place; against the wall. Only this time, she wasn't working out. She was crying.

"Suck it up Barbara! We've got work to do." Helena demanded as she pushed the sleek, black and silver manual wheelchair out of the elevator.

"Helena…"

"Save it Babs. Oracle has apparently left the building and until she decides to return, Huntress is in charge. If that scares you, then, well…there's some motivation."

Barbara was a bit taken aback by the almost unrecognizable "take charge" attitude Helena was sporting. Still, her eyes were full of tears. "Helena, you don't understand."

"Oh really? What don't I understand? I don't understand that you've got too much pride to get up and get into this chair and let me help you get stronger? That you're too afraid?" She stopped short of the former super hero and reached down and put the brake down on the chair.

Every word that came out of Helena's mouth felt to Barbara like she was being stabbed deeply in her stomach. Each one weighing more heavily than they had minutes before when she'd thought them herself. They piled themselves slowly and painfully atop the hill created by the already hard to accept reality that physically she would never be the same. Not the same as the 16 year old Barbara Gordon Batgirl. Not the same as the mentally fit and physically adapted Oracle. She couldn't possibly explain to Helena how much work lay ahead.

"Helena, I can't do it this time."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Yah Helena, I won't. I'd much rather sit here in a heap unable to do anything, including take myself to the bathroom. Can I at least keep my dignity here?"

"Oh…I'm sorry Barbara." All at once it seemed as if Helena had given up the fight. She rushed over, put Barbara's arm around her shoulder and carried her to the bathroom. When all was said and done however, she'd be getting her way.

In a few minutes, the discussion resumed, this time at a different level; physically and verbally. Stubbornness being her strongest attribute, Helena had readied the wheelchair for Barbara's return. It did occur to her as she carried her mentor to the chair, that the situation was unfair. She was taking advantage of her helplessness.

"Helena. No. Please." Barbara was too sick to raise her voice. Just feeling her hands along the wheels made her insides turn.

"Barbara, talk to me. Why is this so bad? You know it's not permanent. As soon as we get you some strength back, you'll be able to fix your chair and you'll have your independence back. I'm not carrying you around forever."

"I…I can't even push myself in this." Her voice caught. "Too many…memories."

"Shhhh." Helena knelt beside Barbara and put her arms around her. "Barbara, we're going to get through this together. I wasn't there for you last time. I will be this time. Every bit of the way. You have my word."

"What if it doesn't…"

"It will. Come on, let's just jump in." Helena moved behind the chair and took Barbara back over to the mat and began to help her stretch.

They didn't speak. Barbara admired the gentleness with which Helena was handling her. Soon they moved to the weights where Helena began to realize just what Barbara was saying. Still, she put her pity and doubt away in exchange for pressing on. More than an hour had passed when Alfred entered.

"Miss Helena. I've readied the hot tub. Might I suggest picking up here tomorrow and helping Miss Barbara soak her muscles a little?" He didn't wait for an answer but left two towels on a chair at the door.

"You up for it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Absolutely."

"Yah. As long as you keep the lectures to a minimum." Barbara laughed a little as she uttered the same sentence Helena had dished out to her many times before.

"Same for you." They laughed to avoid thinking about the effort it took to once again get into the wheelchair and get ready to get into the hot tub.


	8. Chapter 8

"Sir, you can't leave. Where are you going? Sir?"

His head was swimming. He could barely stand, but he felt trapped in confusion as he lay in the hospital bed. He felt as if it were robbing him of his mind. Barbara Gordon. Clock tower. Oracle. It was all jumbled, but ever-present. If he could just get out, maybe it would come back.

Wade passed a table of bandages and alcohol and grabbed an armful as he left the hospital. Tightly cradling his stomach, he entered the chaos of the new New Gotham. Like a scared animal, he wasted no time, but began running for shelter.

"Yah. We're on it Dinah. Actually, I just spoke to a nurse who said a man with a stomach injury just grabbed an armful of bandages and ran out of the hospital."

"Why didn't she stop him?" Dinah drove faster toward the New Gotham hospital.

"Too many people. They can't keep up."

"It has to be him. Oh my God I didn't really think he could be alive, but it's got to be him!" The more she thought about the possibility of Wade being alive, the faster she drove.

"Dinah. Don't get your hopes up. And more importantly don't tell Barbara and Helena. Not yet."

"I know, I know."

Wade stumbled along the street trying to avoid contact with trouble. He finally set his sights on New Gotham Park. It seemed likely for some reason. Though it was fully in his view, it seemed as if he'd never reach the green grass he could see in the distance. Finally nearing the park, he could feel a familiarity. The shade of the trees gave him respite from the heat. He could feel that he had reached his limit for the day and would need a place to get some rest. There was a picnic table in the distance. As he neared the table, he could almost hear the past; or something?

"Wade. I don't normally let people push me."

"Since this requires you to close your eyes, you're gonna have to let me drive."

He heard the words as clear as day, but what did they mean? Climbing up, he lay down on top of the picnic table and drifted off to sleep.

…

"How was the workout Ms. Barbara?" Alfred had tea and coffee waiting for the two girls as they came out of the gym.

"Fine Alfred. I'd like to take a shower." Barbara looked at Helena.

"Good idea! Meet back here for tea or something? I'll have some of that smelly salve you used to rub on me all ready for you."

"Sounds good." Barbara sighed and looked down at herself in the wheelchair and considered the fact that she knew she couldn't make it to her room and into the bath alone. She'd eventually need help. But she couldn't ask. Not then. Instead, she lifted each arm arms still shaking from the workout, slowly to the hand rims and began pushing herself.

Helena nearly kicked herself as she pushed the button to the elevator. "Babs, I'm sor…well, unless you've got this yourself." She was surprised to see Barbara even attempting to push herself.

"Could you…"

"No, sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine. I just haven't got the strength….  
"Barbara it's fine, you worked so hard…"

"Yet." Barbara interrupted.

Helena placed a hand on the back of the wheelchair and helped Barbara into the bathroom to shower. A smile slightly spread across her face knowing she'd made progress that day.

…

His dreams were different tonight. Full of strange images; faces he didn't recognize, but somehow knew. There was a strange room full of computers, a classroom, a woman with blonde hair that seemed a bit off. The dreams didn't make sense, most dreams don't, but as he woke up that morning to the bright sun shining on his face, one face stuck in his mind. She had beautiful red hair, beautiful eyes full of life, and a wry smile. He sat up, a little more sure of himself. His stomach still wrenched in pain. Still, as he lifted his shirt, it seemed that there was no residual bleeding. He began to walk, in search of something that would lead him to knowledge of what his next step should be.

His first day out of the hospital would be faced head on with two clues. The name Barbara and a lady with red hair.

The sky began to grow dark with cloud cover. As the wind began to blow, Dinah's vision was becoming limited. "It's gonna rain Reese. I'm going to go home for the night. If it was him, he'll have to find shelter when the rain starts. Maybe you could send someone around to check the shelters."

"Good thinking. I'll be around later. Tell Helena I'll see her then."

"K!" Dinah turned toward home feeling a little defeated, but not completely far from hope. She truly believed Wade was alive. Climbing back into the Hummer, she was startled at the sound of Barbara's voice coming over the console receiver.

"Dinah? Helena?" The reception was a little static, but music to Dinah's ears.

"Oracle? It's me, Dinah. How are you…"

"It's just a start Dinah. This isn't a secure link by any means. Lose the codenames."

"Sorry. So, what's up?"

"What's your twenty? What are you working on?"

Communication between the clocktower and any of Gotham's team of vigilantes had been cut off for so long, Dinah almost launched right into an explanation which would have included the fact that she and Jesse had spent the night searching for Wade. She luckily caught herself and focused. Mostly. "I…umm… I… am just out cleaning up a little more out here. The broadcast seems to have cleared most of the pandemonium up. There were just a couple of fights. Nothing big. What are you doing up? Didn't Hel…"

"Yes, she kicked my ass today. I'm pretty spent, but I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd work on getting a start on the com system. Are you on your way home?"

"Yah. ETA 5 minutes. Need anything?"

"Yah, actually. Help!" Barbara just laughed at her situation. She sent Alfred to bed and Helena was asleep on the couch taking a desperately needed rest. Her wheelchair was getting the best of her.

"Be there in a sec. Where's Helena?" Dinah turned into the underground garage.

"I'm losing you. Out."

Communication was cut and Dinah was smiling. For some time, she wasn't sure if there was any hope at all, but right then, she knew there was.

"What's up Barbara? It was great to hear you in the Hummer. For so many reasons. Because you…"

"Dinah? Can we do this after you help me?" Sensing one of Dinah's bursts of endless banter, Barbara cut her off.

"Oh. Sorry. What do you need?"

"Um. Just help me back into my chair and into the bathroom. I can take it from there." She locked eyes with Dinah as she directed her to get a feel for how she'd accept this. Surprisingly, she just went on like it was a normal part of their everyday life. Barbara just chalked it up to being a teenager.

"K. Sounds easy enough. On three then?" Then came the previously avoided flood of banter as she helped Barbara.

"It's just that I was right in the middle of feeling exhausted and hopeless, even though your program seems to have fixed things, and then you came over the car com and I just felt better; safe."

Barbara just smiled, knowing that there was some semblance of truth to what Dinah was saying. She was also smiling at the love she felt for Dinah, like a mom almost at times. Just seeing her grow and change and become a grown woman. If she could just separate herself from the physical pain, she could be happy from time to time.

…

"Mr. Brixton?" Wade was startled as he heard his name come out of a dark alley nearby.

"Who's that?" Weeks of wandering around had given him a sense of security; a sense of strength. His wounds had healed. Still, there were all these questions. Questions that kept him wandering the streets instead of in the warmth of his home. Questions that he desperately wanted answers to.

"Brent. Brent Spinner. New Gotham…"

"Oh. Brent…"

"You lost Mr. Brixton?"

"Ummm… yah, sort of . I …"

"I get it. Lots of people in your shoes actually. Let's get something to eat. I might be able to help you a little."

"I don't…"

"It's cool. Just come with me." The two made their way to a small apartment complex down the street from the park Wade had been calling home for the past few weeks.

Things were almost the same at the clocktower. Barbara and Helena had been working themselves silly trying to get Barbara back to her normal self.

"I'll be down in a second Helena." Coms were back up around the clocktower. Things seemed back to normal. "Thanks Dinah." Barbara reached down and moved her feet back into place.

"No problem. Need help to the gym?"

"I'd like to…I mean…I…Helena can wait for the hour it'll take me to get there myself. I think I can make it." The two of them laughed as Dinah opened the door for Barbara who slowly, but surely made her way into the hallway.

Remembering back seven years ago to when she was first in therapy, Barbara pictured the clunky hospital chair and the trouble she had learning to get around in it. Still, it was easier than this and a lot less painful. Just at the end of the hall, she was almost entirely out of breath.

Dinah had gone down the stairs, but listened intently for a quiet request from Barbara. She didn't mind helping, but secretly hoped Barbara could do it herself.

Barbara too hoped she wouldn't have to call for help, but as she reached up for the elevator button, longing for her electric chair which had a button that could open the doors remotely, she found she was already starting to shake a little.

"She's doing it on her own isn't she?" Helena had given up waiting for Barbara and was sitting down to a newly opened bottle of water beside Dinah. She set one on the table beside the couch the two were lounging on knowing they'd be joined shortly.

"Yah. You guys are doing so great. I just heard the elevator. She made it all the way today."

"Not until she's here drinking this water." Helena smiled at the progress they'd made in just a few weeks.

"You're a slave driver Helena!"

"Yah? You should have seen the things she put me through in those first days as Huntress."

The elevator door opened to reveal a very determined Barbara.

"Need some help?"

"Oh no. I've got it. You guys just relax. I'll be there in a week!"

Helena and Dinah laughed, both feeling proud of their friend. Both hoping, in the very back of their mind, that nothing would come along to spoil the progress. Both knowing how possible that very instance was.

Feeling the metal slip through her hands, Barbara gave one last push with all she had and let her chair run into the side of the couch. "Yes," she said, trying not to sound too excited, but secretly feeling a sense of accomplishment.

"Wooooo Hooooo!" The girls didn't hold back for a second.

"You know it's alright to feel a little excited." Helena took the top of the bottle of water and handed it to Barbara.

"Thanks. It's not that big of a deal really."

"Are you kidding? That's first time you've made it this far."

"Yah. I guess I just feel stupid. I mean I feel like a baby or something."

"Well, before we dive head-first into that pity pool again, you've got more work ahead of you." Helena jumped back up and grabbed the back of the wheelchair and hurried toward the gym.


	9. Chapter 9

"This is my mom. Mom, this is Mr. Brixton. I brought him home to eat. I think he's lost."

"Good to meet you. You're welcome to whatever we have. I know it's horrible out there."

Wade sat down at the table glad for the shelter of a civilized home. "Thank you."

"So. What do you want to know?"

"Um…I don't remember much. I know my name, I know my parents names, but they don't live in New Gotham. And, Barbara. I know Barbara."

"Well. I can tell you that you're a counselor at our school, that you drive a really great yellow jeep, and that there's a rumor going around that you're dating Ms. Gordon." The boy smiled.

"Really? Is she good looking?" He laughed at the fact that the students knew so much of what was going on in the school. "I don't remember her." His smile faded at relenting to this fact.

"Ummm. Well, she's nice, she's a great teacher, well…as teachers go…and she's … umm.. crippled."

"What?"

"Well, she's in a wheelchair. We don't really know anything about it. She told us the first day that she'd been in a car accident and that she can't walk and that's all she said about it…"

Wade's face was even more confused as he tried hard to put together all the pieces in his mind.

"…but she's really pretty. She's got this red hair." He blushed as he began to describe Barbara's physical appearance aside from using a wheelchair.

"Red hair? It's Barbara, it has to be. I remember the name Barbara and her having red hair."

"I have my yearbook. We can see." The boy jumped up eager to help put together pieces of the puzzle.

Wade was anxious waiting for the revelation.

"It's her. Barbara Gordon. Why didn't I know her name was Barbar…."

"Let me look." Wade stared at the picture and was almost immediately overcome with memories. Memories that didn't fit into the counselor school teacher scenario.

"Mr. Brixton?"

"Yah?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's just that nothing fits together yet. But you've helped a lot." He took a bite of a banana and continued flipping through the yearbook. "What about a clocktower?"

"The Clocktower? The one downtown?"

"I guess."

"What about it."

"I need to go there."

"How about you crash here tonight, in out of the rain, and I'll take you in the morning."

Wade was exhausted and cold and the sound of a warm bed wasn't something he could justly refuse.

…

"What are you going to do Helena? Drag me along through the streets? That's ridiculous. I'll be fine. I'm stronger. It won't happen again." Barbara wasn't doing a great job trying to convince the girls to go out and get things fixed on the outside and leave her alone to get her computers up and running.

"No way. I'm…we're not leaving you again. Dinah and Reese have teams set up and Gibson has a meta-team set up. They are going to do sweeps and some final clean up. I'm going to stay here and…"

"Baby-sit. Not a…"

"Save it Barbara. Call it what you want. I'm staying."

"Look. I…" she struggled to push herself to the computer platform. "Look, I've got the alarm system functioning again and none of you even know the codes yet. I'm going to have to be alone some time. I'll not be a prisoner in my own home. Helena, think about it, if you were in my place, you'd be fighting me tooth and nail."

The girls looked at one another and then at Alfred. "Barbara, you've only been on your feet for a few weeks…"

"Nice choice of words Helena." Dinah shot an angry look at Helena.

"You know what I mean. You can't…"

"There's a lot I can't do. Just give me a couple of hours of peace. Alfred will be around if I need anything."

Thinking back on Barbara's point about her not wanting to be a prisoner, Helena identified and relented. She knew she was needed on the street; they had to find Wade. "Fine, but Alfred has restrictions. Bathroom breaks, food, that's it!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Barbara mocked.

"I just know you two. If I didn't set you straight, you'd be waltzing around the clocktower using that stupid…"

"Helena. Shut up. I get it. Just go out and do your job." Barbara disgustedly released the brake on her chair and slowly turned to leave.

"Bar…" Helena stopped herself. Though she wanted to say more, it felt kind of good seeing just a glimpse of Barbara taking charge of the situation again. "Come on Kid."

"Nuff of the 'kid' thing. We've discussed it."

"Fine." She settled for mussing up the blonde's neatly combed hair instead.

…

"Well, did she say you couldn't help me up to the computers? The ramp isn't on my 'can do' list yet."

"Very well. Will you be needing anything else Ms. Barbara?"

She looked around the familiar platform. The screens had mostly been replaced and rehung. Most of the computers were also back in place. "Helena said they recovered backup discs?"

"All of your discs are there. Just waiting for you."

"Then I guess I can take it from here." Moving up to the first computer, she used her right hand to pull the keyboard to her lap then to place her weaker hand onto the keys. As the computer presented a prompt, she discovered it would have to be slow hunt and peck with the right hand as her left wasn't quit up for responding just yet. "Good thing no one is currently depending on me for speed. This is pathetic." She said to herself.

Alfred looked on for a few minutes then left with a little concern.

After a couple of hours, Barbara had only managed to get the basics up on one computer. Mentally, she was more than up for the task, but physically she was completely frustrated. As she tapped the last key, the large screens above lit up one by one. She wasn't prepared for what she saw. They were frozen on the entranced eye that had destroyed the city. Quickly, she turned back to her computer and, much to her surprise, flew with both hands over the keys rattling off a line of characters that brought all the screens to blue almost immediately.

"Nicely done. Seems you could use a break now."

"Actually I could, but I'd like to go down and work out for just a bit. I'd like to try some things to get my hands to respond like that always. Could I get you to give me a push?"

"My pleasure." Alfred helped Barbara down to the gym where she began putting on some weights in an effort to convince Alfred she was fine on her own. "Is there anything else?"

"I'll be fine. Why don't you give me an hour down here then come and make me stop. I don't want to overdo it." She smiled knowing that even if she was doing a bad job of convincing Alfred she wasn't up to anything, he'd do as she asked without questioning her.

"Back in an hour then." With that, he left her alone.

Perhaps more quickly then she had in weeks, she pushed herself over to the table where Helena had tossed the transponder and brought it back into position. She held it and stared at it for a few minutes before smiling and putting her now-feeble fingers to work. Getting it back into working condition was easy, but she needed to do something to sustain her for a longer period of time and compensate for the loss of her hands. It needed to be stronger and last longer if she was going to take the risk again.

Her hour almost up, she went back over to the mats and reached up for the rings above and grabbed hold. She heard the door open, right on cue. "Boy, you are prompt aren't you?"

"Is that all you've got?" It was a man's voice, but definitely not Alfred's.

"Reese?" She let her arms drop back down to her lap.

"Yah. Sorry if I scared you. Helena sent me down to bring you back up. We've got wine. We had a really good night." He stood in front of Barbara and folded his arms. "You O.K.?"

"I'm getting there…I think…most of the time I think I'm getting there."

"Give me your hand." Squatting beside the chair, he took her hand and began massaging it. "Looks like you've come a long way."

"Does it? It was a big deal that I finally got my left hand up to the keyboard tonight. Kind of pathetic."

"It's not. It's great. I thought we lost you."

"Me too. I'm trying. Besides, you don't really know what you're getting yourself into Detective." Barbara smiled and gave him her other hand.

"That has been in the back of my mind, but I'm up to the challenge if you are."

"I'm the least of your problems. It's Helena we have to worry about. And she's been spending a lot of time with Dinah, so we may have our hands full. I just hope she doesn't get too used to being in charge around here."

"She's ready for you to take it back at any time. Can I help you upstairs or do you have it?"

"Actually, I'm pretty tired and I hate pushing this stupid thing even when I'm not. So, yah, that would be great." The two went back up stairs and joined the others in some wine and celebration at the progress each had made, both in and out of the clocktower.

Finally, the night, the most normal night they'd had since Harley took the clocktower, was coming to an end. "I'm bushed guys. Barbara, do you want me to help you tonight? Shower? Whatever?" Dinah got up taking one last bite of a brownie.

"Ummm…yah. I could use a bath actually. Helena? You staying here or going home?" Barbara pushed her chair back from the table.

"Reese and I are going to check things out on the streets one last time, then I'm going home to get some more clothes. I'll come by in the morning to pick you up Kid. We've still got a lot of clean up out there."

"Sounds good. You two have a good time." Dinah laughed and inadvertently took Barbara by the shoulders and began pushing her toward her room.

"Hey, hey. I got it. What's the hurry?" Barbara took the rims of her chair in her hands and made her way to the elevator.

…

"I've got to go down to the high school. Can you help me get there? There's got to be something that can help me find Barbara."

"Sure Mr. Brixton, but I've heard there's still a lot of gang trouble down there."

"It'll be fine. We won't bother them. I just need to get into my office or her classroom."

Wade and the boy made their way down to the high school. The streets were getting less and less crazy. Seemed the GCPD was doing their job, with a little help from Barbara as usual. Meanwhile, Dinah and Helena continued to comb the streets in their spare time for any sign of what happened to Wade's body.

As they neared the high school, Wade felt the presence of people following him. "Brent. I want to you run ahead and go back home."

"I don't think I should leave you." The boy looked over his shoulder and saw that they were getting closer to being entirely surrounded by a group of angry, territorial, street people.

"Brent, go! When I start running, you start running. I'm running into the building, you go home."

The boy relented having decided to go for help instead. "Fine."

Reaching the steps of the high school, Wade turned soon enough to see the bat swinging toward him. He couldn't move out of its way fast enough and suddenly he felt the blow and all the air leave his body. Worse than that, there was pain as he hit the steps and fell limp.

"Stay off our turf. You don't belong here."

"Go back to where you came from Man."

Having no other choice, Wade laid still until his assailants left.

Dinah and Helena stopped to question several people in the park across the street from the high school and were getting nowhere quick when they were distracted by a boy running across the park.

"Hey! Wait! Dinah, go get that boy. He might know what's going on around here."

"Sure. I get to do all the running."

"Go Dinah!" Dinah took off after the boy gaining on him with surprising speed.

"Hey kid! I can help. Stop!" Finally, the boy stopped.

"They are going to kill him. There are tons of them."

"Slow down. Who?"

"Mr. Brixton. They ganged…"

"You're kidding right? Did you say Brixton?" Dinah couldn't believe it could possibly be Wade, alive? Grabbing the boy by the shirt, she ran back over to Helena. "Helena, we've got a very serious problem…or it's good news, but it's…"

"Dinah…stop. What is the problem?"

"Wade is alive, or at least he was a couple of minutes ago." She turned to the boy. "Where is he?"

"He's at the high school. He made me leave him alone. There are lots of gang members there. I didn't…"

"It's fine. We can handle it. Go on." Scared, the kid ran away. "Come on Dinah." The girls ran toward the school. The closer they got, the clearer the figure lying on the steps became.

"Dinah, it's him."

"Wade?" Helena fell by his side and tried to wake him. "He's been hit or something, he's bleeding. We need to get him to the hospital."

"We need to tell Barb…"

"No! Not until he gets through this. I won't get her hopes up again. Come on. Help me get him to the hospital."

They lifted Wade's body and carried him to the Hummer where they then drove him to the hospital. Both of them were confused as to what to do about their new predicament. Neither of them wanted to get Barbara's hopes up, but they knew it would do her so much good to know Wade was actually alive. Still, he was in very bad shape. They knew they had to wait.

"Try to get a hold of Reese, Helena."

"I've tried this radio a million times. Coms are so much better. The GCPD really needs to step into the future."

"Let's just get back home." Having taken Wade back to the hospital where he was whisked off to surgery immediately, they drove quickly home, still in a quandary about how to deal with Barbara.


	10. Chapter 10

"So, Alfred said it'll be a while til dinner is ready. Do you want to go get a little workout in with me?" Helena was being uncharacteristically coy as she appeared behind Barbara who was busily typing commands into her computer.

"Uh…sure. Let me just…"

"Man, I just noticed, you're typing pretty quickly. Your hands must be com…"

"Half my usual speed, but, 'yes', they seem to be getting a little stronger." She hit the return key. "Let's go." Helena was a little confused as Barbara had to use her right hand to take her left hand off the keyboard and place it on the handrim.

"Yah. Um…you sure you're up for it?" She stepped aside as Barbara coasted down the ramp.

"I just said I was…" she paused and noted Helena's fixed gaze on her hand. "Oh…that…"

"Sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's fine Helena. My hands seem to be getting stronger, but my left arm is still behind my right. So…you've got your work cut out for you then…"

"Barbara, I just…"

"Helena. The door please." Barbara had a way of ending a subject like no one else.

With that, she opened the door and the two went to the gym to begin work. All the while, she was considering telling Barbara about Wade. Lucky for her, the physical demands and emotions of the workout were distracting just enough to put off the news until dinner.

"Yes!" Helena steadied Barbara as she repositioned her in the chair. "You lifted yourself! That's great Barbara!"

"Wooo Hooo!" Helena noted a hint of sarcasm in Barbara's response. "One whole lift. Alert the press!"

"Barbara, come on. It's big. Can we try a couple more?" It took ten minutes, but Barbara managed a few more lifts. This gave even Barbara a glimmer of hope.

"Helena. Do you think you can help me try to hold myself up between the bars?"

"I don't know if…" Helena knew Barbara wasn't ready.

"My arms feel good for the first time in weeks. Please."

"Fine. On three. One, two, three…" Helena knelt in front of Barbara and lifted her legs into position before lifting her up. "I'm letting go. Are you ready?"

"Yes." It wasn't even a second before Barbara felt her arms give way.

Helena jumped forward and caught her just before she hit the mat. "Barbara, are…"

"Damit!" Baraba was immediately overcome with anger.

"Barbara. You did a lot today. It's not all going to come back at once. Come on sweetie. Let's just go drink some wine and have dinner. You've got a lot to be proud of."

Barbara considered being upset with herself and taking it out on Helena. Instead, she looked into Helena's eyes. "I don't know if I'd be here…I mean, I know I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you Helena. I do have a lot to be proud of. Mostly you." She laughed a little. "I'm just feeling a little pathetic." She looked at herself as she sat, being supported by Helena.

"You're impossible Barbara." Helena just picked Barbara up and put her back into her chair and took her back up to the kitchen where there was, as she had hoped, a lot of wine and food waiting. Both of which she would need in order to tell Barbara about Wade.

"Hey, is there room for one more?" Reese came in through the elevator with a big smile on his face.

Helena almost bound out of her seat. "Sure there's room." She was glad to have all the support she could for the task at hand.

They all sat and laughed and talked about how the city was getting back to normal.

"Barbara. You really saved us. "

"Detective, I didn't save anyone…" Barbara's eyes were distant and as Helena watched sadness and disappointment change Barbara's mood again, she knew this was the time.

Dinah was in the middle of a bite when she heard Helena begin.

"So…speaking of the city and things getting back to normal, Reese, your radios suck. I tried getting a hold of you all afternoon. Barbara could hook you guys up with coms. It's really a lot more effective."

"Really. I'll make that note. What did you need?"

"Well," Helena glanced over at Barbara who was sipping wine. "um…Dinah and I were checking out the park by the high school and there was this boy. He was running scared. Dinah caught him and questioned him. He said there was a gang beating up on…some guy at the high school. Anyhow, I ran over there to try and help him. By the time we got there, the gang was gone and the man was lying on the stairs."

"Was he alive?" Regretfully, Barbara was now fully paying attention to the conversation.

"…yah…he was…"

"That's good…"

"But he was unconscious. We took him to the hospital. He was bleeding from his abdomen."

"Good job. See, I told you that you guys don't need me." Barbara took another drink and laughed. Helena looked over at Dinah.

"Barbara. It was Wade." The immediate silence that filled the room was deafening.

"Helena stop!" Rage covered Barbara's face.

"Barbara it was him. We are sure of it."

"Helena st…" Barbara was quickly becoming very angry.

"Barbara listen!" Helena stood up and went over to Barbara. Pulling the wheelchair back from the table, she knelt down and took Barbara's hands in hers. "Barbara. The boy told us before we went to the school. He said, that a gang was beating up Mr. Brixton. It's him Barbara." This time Helena felt her own eyes filling with tears.

"How? Why didn't you say anything? Helena…" Almost entirely overcome by an overwhelming amount of emotions, Barbara jerked her chair from Helena's grasp and began to leave.

Dinah jumped up to follow her. "No. Dinah. Let her go." Helena grabbed her coat and left, Reese at her side.

…

"You think she's going to be o.k.? She's been in there all night and morning. Ouch!" Dinah quickly put her finger in her mouth to sooth the burn she received from the hot waffles she was taking from the griddle.

"These look great! Hot butter too? Since when can you…"

"Helena! What do you think she's doing in there? Shouldn't we at least check on her?"

"I guess. It's just… I don't know what to say. What if Wade doesn't pull through? Maybe I shouldn't have told her until he was out of the woods."

"No. You were right to tell her. Maybe it'll give her hope. Maybe she'd like to go to the hospital and see him?"

"No! I don't want him to see me like this." Barbara was surprisingly stealth as she entered the kitchen without the girls even noticing.

Helena and Dinah just looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"Ummmm. Like what Barbara?" Dinah put two piping hot waffles on a plate and passed the butter and syrup to Barbara.

"Yah Barbara. He already knows…."

"Knows what? Knows that I can't walk? Knows about our secret lives of crime fighting? Exactly! I don't know what I was thinking in the first place. I don't want to…"

"Listen Barbara. We're just trying to say the right thing and I can't, for the life of me, figure out what that is right now."

"Then stop trying. Just go about your business. I need to get the system back up and I am nearly finished. What's the situation as far as supplies out there? There are a few things I need."

"Just give me a list. We'll be back around dinner time." Helena locked eyes with Barbara and she and Dinah got up and started cleaning the kitchen.

"Deep down, Barbara wasn't sure where the anger was coming from. She should be elated to hear Wade was alive, but she was so afraid it wasn't true. Still, she had to play this situation right to buy herself some alone time. If she was going to see Wade again, she wanted him to see her walking. Besides remorse over his death, all she'd thought about since that night was that he hadn't seen her walking. It was silly and she new it was ultimately a farce, but it was important to her.

…

Once again, glad for some time to herself, and the basic ability to move about, albeit clumsily at times, Barbara readied herself behind the sea of computers. The computers had long-since been up and almost back to normal, which allowed her to pull up the final schematics for the new transponder and make the final arrangements for her secret boost.

The mouse rolled steadily over toward the blinking mail alert. Barbara smiled as she thought about the control she had while behind the computer. It was just about the only place she had control these days.

She looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone before opening the correspondence. Taking a deep breath, she opened the link.

CRYOGENICS LABS : YOU'RE BACK IN BUSINESS SO SOON? WE ARE IMPRESSED…

ORACLE : SAME GOES FOR US. THOUGHT WE PUT YOU OUT OF COMMISSION.

CRYOGENICS LABS : SOUNDS LIKE YOU MIGHT BE GLAD WE'RE OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

ORACLE : GLAD? NO. STILL, I HEARD YOU COULD HELP WITH A PERSONAL ISSUE.

CRYOGENICS LABS : WE ARE NOT IN THE BUSINESS OF SPAWNING NERVES OR CREATING NEW SPINES MS….GORDON WASN'T IT?

ORACLE : I'VE GOT THAT END COVERED. I JUST NEED AN EXTRA LITTLE BOOST. PVF?

CRYOGENICS LABS : YES… FIGHT OR FLIGHT. UBER-EPINEPHRIN…YOU KNOW THE RISKS…

ORACLE : increased heart rate and the hydrolysis of glycogen to glucose… cardiac arrest, as a vasoconstrictor in shock…BLAH, BLAH…I GET IT

CRYOGENICS LABS : IT'S ON IT'S WAY… ENJOY YOUR…WALK

Barbara scowled at the screen and slammed her fist down on the keyboard. "Jerk."

With the drug on its way, Barbara printed out the details for the improvements to the transponder and made her way to the elevator, not allowing herself to think about the compromises she was willing to make in order to reach her goal…not completely sure why she wanted this so badly. Was it really for Wade? She had hardly thought about him since Helena's news that morning. Was it an answer to a newfound addiction to self-destruction? Probably door #2.

…**  
**"Helena?" I'm finished here. Reese and I will meet you at the hospital.

"That was fast. I'm nowhere near finished and I seem to have run into a little trouble up here. You guys have time for a detour?" Helena chatted calmly as she, with almost no effort, picked off a group of teenagers looting a shop downtown. Her luck; however, had run out as one of the girls in the group opened the door with a gun in her hand.

"What's that Huntress? You're breaking up…did we just hear you ask for help?" Reese and Dinah had a laugh at Helena's expense.

"Now would be good!" Her voice was serious.

"I don't think she's joking."

"I think you're right. Turn up here."

"Hey! No guns!" Looking around the room, there really was nowhere for Helena to run.

"Whatever Lady!" Shots began flying.

Helena managed to avoid being hit by a bullet while still fending off a kick here and there.

Then, within minutes, "STOP! GCPD!"

"You tell 'em Reese." Helena almost laughed as Dinah and Reese burst through the door. The kids hardly took notice.

Dinah ran up behind the girl with the gun and disarmed her almost effortlessly then used the gun to knock the girl unconscious. As she discarded the remaining bullets, the other kids fled the scene. Reese hardly moved.

"Thanks Dinah. Good thing you brought him." They laughed as Reese just stood shaking his head.

"Let's go check on Wade. Anyone heard from Barbara?"

"Nope and frankly I'm glad. She's got me completely confused." The blonde rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Yah. Crazy reaction. She never ceases to amaze me."

As the girls continued their one-sided conversation, Reese drove them over to the hospital.

Dinah began mulling thoughts about in her head. "What do you think she's up to?"

"Wait just a second. If I'm going to be in the car with you two, you're going to have to fill me in. I feel like you're talking in code.

"Sorry. It's just that after we told Barbara about Wade last night, she locked herself in her room all night and this morning, Dinah and I were just talking about taking her to see Wade and she came in and totally yelled at us. Something about not wanting him to see her."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense does it?"

"Welcome to the conversation." Helena returned just as perplexed as before.


	11. Chapter 11

"There. That should do it." Barbara finished the last connection on the transponder. She made a special effort to make this one as small as possible. There were several lines she and Leslie had agreed not to cross and she had just finished crossing the last one. It's what was necessary to send a strong enough neuro-signal to stimulate both her legs and her still-week arms. She also needed to be able to go the distance.

The Proximity Surveillance alerted her to Alfred's presence in the garage, so she quickly returned the new device to its hiding place and turned toward the bars where she hoped to resume what would look like an arduous workout. One attempt to lift herself would, no doubt, produce enough sweat and strain to make it believable. Only, as was becoming routine, that's not exactly the way it played out.

"Ms. Barbara?" Alfred made himself known before stealthily appearing in the gym.

Just as he appeared, her arms reached their limit and she fell between the bars. "Damn it!" She cried under her breath.

"Perhaps you've been down here long enough?" Alfred stood in place waiting for Barbara to permit him to help her up.

"Right." Using every method she'd ever learned in therapy over the years, she managed to struggle to a sitting position. Using her stronger right arm, she pulled on her sweatpants until her legs were straight in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she measured the distance to her chair and knew she couldn't make it on her own. Not right then.

"Thanks for waiting and letting me try. Could you maybe help me back …?"

"Certainly Barbara."

As Alfred bent down and lifted her into the wheelchair beside the mat, she thought about her plans for walking and wondered if it was worth it. The last couple of times she used the transponder, she was in much better shape. She wasn't even sure it would work in her present state. Besides, why was she doing it? For one visit with her standing in front of him? All so she could collapse outside his room and spend the rest of her life having people lift her from place to place? It was something she'd have to consider.

"Oh. Before I forget, a package came for you. I placed it in the detainment cell for you to scan. Seemed shifty to me. I just thought it would be best to…"

"Thanks Alfred. Where are the girls? They should be home by now." Barbara was increasingly alarmed when the Clocktower was more quiet than usual.

Alfred motioned toward Delphi and continued dicing tomatoes for dinner.

Barbara glanced at the screen across the room and noticed a message. Pulling away from the cutting board where she was only pretending to distract herself by helping Alfred slice up a salad, she dried her hands and went to the computer platform. The closer she got, she noticed that the message was from Helena. She shot a disgruntled look back at Alfred as she read it :

HUNTRESS : ORACLE. WE ARE STOPPING BY THE HOSPITAL BEFORE DINNER. COMS ARE STILL OPEN IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN US.

The once-calm-clear-headed-mentor slammed her fists on the keyboard which had most recently become her new MO. The screen went black permitting the reflection of Barbara's now-tear-filled-eyes to stare back at her painfully.

Taking a deep breath, she went to the elevator and took it down to the detainment cell. She was unsure why she was motivated to risk permanent physical disability for a few vertical moments. Slowly she was realizing it had less to do with Wade and more to do with some new obsession with rebellion. She was beginning to identify with Helena's drive to be obstinate for the sake of being heard.

"Alfred was right. Shifty package. Could he have sent it in any more criminal-like packaging?" Just for kicks, she ran a quick scan over the box. A single bottle. Small. Powerful. Dangerous. Necessary.

…

"I believe she's disconnected the intercom. I called her for dinner 15 minutes ago."

"Is she hold up in the gym again? What's her problem anyhow? I'm…"

"My problem, Helena, is that I can't walk; just for starters. I also find that limited use of my arms makes the long hallway quite a trip in this chair." With one last disgusted push Barbara glared at Alfred and Helena. "Here. No more intercom. Coms are officially back to normal. Improved really. I think they'll be all they were and more." She tossed three small boxes onto the table and went to the sink to wash her hands.

Dinner was not what Helena was expecting. Barbara had hardly spoken a civil word in weeks, but tonight it was like she was overcompensating. It was one boring factoid after another, on and on, without so much as a rhetorical question.

"Barbara!" Helena had reached her limit.

"Yes?"

"What's up with you? You're being strange. What's with the technology lecture? Did we get some new nerdy magazine subscription or something? Or are you trying to…"

"Trying to what? Trying to have an intelligent conversation. You guys haven't even stopped to notice that we are pretty much back up to full speed. Well, technologically anyhow." She wiped her mouth with a napkin and pushed away from the table.

Silence filled the air. Barbara took her plate to the sink and began cleaning.

"Barbara? Why are you doing the…"

"Because I can. Alfred is not our slave."

"No Ms. Barbara. Astute observation; however, I am your butler and I am responsible for keeping you ladies comfortable. Please. Allow me the pleasure of doing the dishes."

"Besides, I brought over some great movies. Let just relax for a night. Can you do that?" Helena didn't have quite the amumunition to distract Barbara.

Barbara had other plans for the evening. She was anxious to try out the transponder boost. "Ummm. I would, …No. No I can't. I still have…"

"What? You said we were back on track. Come on. You and Helena relax. I've got sweeps tonight and Jesse has extra detail on call. We're good. Just…"

"Dinah. Let it go. She said no. You know Barbara. No time for…"

"Fine. You win. Let's veg. You are probably right. I could use a little down time." Drying off her hands, Barbara went over to the elevator. "You coming Hel?"

The girls looked at each other a little confused. Just when they thought they had her number, she just gave in.

"Ummm. Yah. Let's go." Helena jumped in front of Barbara holding the sliding door back.

"Don't act so shocked Helena. I'm sorry. It's just that I've sort of been on auto pilot trying to get things back in working order. You're right. I could use the break. Let's go before I change my mind." Even with her pending practice run foremost on her mind, Barbara was longing for some rest and welcomed a little distraction. Something in the back of her mind told her that further damaging her spinal cord could wait just one more day.

"I'm sorry I gave you a hard time. We're just worried about you. We've got some absolute classics here." Helena spread the discs out on the table while Barbara moved onto the couch.

"Yah. Looks like classics alright."

"You o.k. over there? Can I help you?"

"No thanks. I'm actually getting a little stronger I think. Let's start with a little action and work up to sappy romance; which, by the way, is a surprising pick for you."

"Yah, well we all have our secrets. Let's keep this one under wraps, wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong impression." It was the first they'd laughed together in weeks.

…

It was early considering their late night of sappy movie watching, but Barbara dared to wake Helena with the dawn. "Helena? I need an ophthalmic recognition cathode ray tube. Up for an errand? Helena?"

"Ughhh. Shut up! If I were awake I would have any idea what you just said. I need breakfast."

"Then come unlock your door." Barbara was patiently waiting with breakfast outside Helena's room.

"Yah…not like you can't just break in or …"

"Just open up. I really do need you and Dinah to run some errands. There are a few things I'd like to try to improve since we just did a total rehaul on the spatial…."

"Fine, fine, here, enter, just stop with the chatter!" Helena pulled the door open to reveal a curiously awake and vibrant Barbara then flopped back down on the couch beside her bed."

"Here. Sugary cereal and Diet Coke. Breakfast of champions. Your favorite. Now shower and meet me in the gym. Quick workout before you go? Dinah's already down there."

"Good for her."

"Helena?"

"Yah, fine, fine… be down in 15. Go away now!" She sat up and rubbed her eyes then chugged the Diet Coke.

Barbara breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed as if they were buying the ruse and would be out of the house within the hour. She could finally test her sea legs so to speak.

"All this technology and no automatic door to the gym. Irony." Barbara backed up while steadying the door with a free hand before pushing into the room.

"Who are you talking to Barbara? What is irony?"

Barbara gave one last sigh as she pushed through the door and felt it hit the back of her chair as she passed through. "Irony, Dinah, is incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs; the event which…"

"Stop! I know what irony is, I meant what were saying was ironic?"

"Oh. Sorry. I was talking about the fact that I've spent thousands of dollars and countless hours making this clocktower an impenetrable fortress . Where the sound of my voice can access any one of a hundred different types of computers at any given time, but I haven't managed to have an automatic door put in for the gym, so the one crippled person in the tower doesn't have to kill herself getting in."

"I hate when you say things like that." Dinah handed a pair of gloves to Barbara and moved to the back of the nearby bench and waited for her mentor to be spotted for a few quick reps.

"Things like what Dinah?"

"Nevermind, I just hate when you're so negative about your…"

"Well, you let me know when you discover a way to be positive about losing the use of your legs. Lets start before Helena gets here and we lose all focus." Hearing her own comments thundering around in her mind, Barbara noted that in the seven years since she had been shot, she hadn't known herself to make negative comments about her disability. For that matter, she hardly addressed it. Still, it was now becoming commonplace for her to put herself down and make people feel uncomfortable.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Just as Barbara went down for her first rep on the parallel bars, Helena burst through the door looking a little more awake than earlier.


	12. Chapter 12

"Simply that if my predictions are correct, you will blow in here and start arguing with me about something and we will get nothing accomplished", Barbara barked at Helena as she lowered herself between the bars supported by Dinah.

"Nice. Glad to see we are all cheery this morning. Move over kid. I'm taking over, wouldn't want to blow in here and ruin the game." Helena locked eyes with Barbara as she passed around toward Dinah. Just to prove a point, she allowed Barbara to support herself a little longer than necessary, moving in only once Barbara's arms began to shake.

"You two are just… just… stupid. I've seen a lot of stupid people, hell, I am in high school, but you two take the cake. Really, you deserve each other!" Dinah grabbed a towel and left the gym in a huff. This concerned Barbara since she hadn't cemented Dinah's plans for the day. She could pop back up at any time and catch her.

Barbara took advantage of the moment, her mind still quicker than most and evermore focused on her afternoon plans. "She's right Helena. I'm sorry. I'm fine here. Alfred said the new chair components are here, so I think I'll skip working out today and work on the new chair so I can ditch this ridiculous thing. Why don't you go after her and take her with you. I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to let you…"

"It's fine. Just…" Barbara was concentrating on swinging around and falling back into her chair.

Helena moved swiftly to push the chair closer. "No, it's not alright. I used your dis… your le… your situation, against you. That's just wrong."

"It is wrong and it's not a 'situation' Helena. It is what it is and it will always be, so pick a word you are comfortable with. They all make me sick." With that, Barbara pushed passed Helena and retreated to a her work station in the corner beside a large stack of boxes.

Helena, for lack of a response, just left.

…

Once behind the work table, Barbara pulled up the new clocktower proximity scanner and made sure that no one was home. She then set the program to alert her to anyone's presence. This made it easier for her to focus without the threat of being caught working on the transponder. As she stared down at the small device with its many sensors, wires, chips, and vital read-out screens, she was impressed with herself. _Man, when I really put my mind to screwing any chance I have of getting my arms and legs back to their "pre-Harley" state, I really do it right!_ Her eyes blurred as she was then taken back in her mind through the short 6 month relationship she and Wade had shared….

**_"Could we do that over coffee? With me. Together. The two of us."_**

_**"Well you're just gonna have to trust me with the plans. I promise they will be silly and absolutely mindless."**_

_**"Yeah. Good point. After all, you're funny and interesting, maybe a little bit mysterious. They'll probably run screaming."**_

**_"Barbara, when I look at you, I just want to take care of you…." _**This last though sent her careening back to reality and the reason she was pushing herself to walk for him. "No one needs to 'take care' of me!" She reached for the pills she'd received from her 'secret' source and took one more scan of the bottle, this time allowing her mind to wander through more motivating moments in her recent past….

"**_Last night I heard Wade's mother telling him I wasn't good enough for him because I don't have legs that work. Yeah, you're right. What do I know about being different?"_**

Her mind was made up. "Let's try this thing out." Dropping two of the red capsules into the palm of her hand, she took a deep breath and swallowed them down with some water. Because of the weakness in her arms, it was a little more difficult connecting the transponder, but she managed to put it in place. As she reached down to grab the wheels of her chair in an effort to move toward the mats where she'd take her test drive, she was almost overcome by pain, so much pain that she could hardly locate its exact origin. It was her legs. Suddenly she could feel what seemed to be pain reaching every previously dead nerve from her waist down. It was overwhelming. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster. Then all at once she took a deep breath and pushed over to the mats, as she reached down and began placing the braces on her legs, her arms joined in the pain-fest. "It's worth it Barbara. Just ignore it. You've felt worse…" Actually, in seven years, she hadn't felt anything, not in her legs. Even previous usage of the transponder with Shiva and Harley had only allowed her distant feeling, enough to aid her in balancing on her useless extremities.

Once the braces were in place, she pulled herself slowly to a standing position and just as she had before, began slowly walking across the room. Her heart still racing, her legs still aching, she continued. Though surprised at the success after being so weak for the past few weeks, she could feel enough to know the braces were a good precaution. "There, I can live with this. At least long enough to find Wade, find him and embrace him. Embrace him as a whole person."

"Then what?" A voice inside her head burst through the moment. She couldn't afford to allow these thoughts to invade her plan. The last time she saw Wade, he had just learned she was a crime fighter, not just a mild-mannered teacher in a wheelchair. They had kissed and made up with a little clarity gained from seeing her in action, then he was gone. The events of that night had played over and over in her head. She had walked through the city once again, swinging through the air and saving the day, saving everyone, but Wade. She owed him this. He should have seen her.

Satisfied with her trial run and slightly afraid if she sat there longer, she would talk herself out of using the transponder to go meet Wade at the hospital; Barbara decided to call it a day. She hid the transponder and went over to the boxes she had promised Helena would be occupying her. Just a week ago, she would have given anything for her high-tech power chair, but now, gazing into the boxes, she wasn't sure. It had all become the same to her, too little, too late. Instead, she went about strewing the pieces around making it look like she had been hard at work then went back to her room to shower and change.

As she reached for the door, even without the transponder, she felt a surge of energy as her arm stretched steadily toward the knob. Also, without the transponder was the ensuing flood of pain. Focused on the hot bat that awaited her, Barbara took a deep breath and swallowed the feeling. After her relaxing bath, she found that the pain had subsided, but the energy was still present. It was almost like she had a buzz. _Well, I can't say that I hate the side effects here_, she thought as she began pulling ingredients for dinner out of the refrigerator. The girls and Alfred would be home soon and she didn't want it to look as if she had done nothing all day, so it was decided, one gourmet dinner ala Barbara coming up.

…

"Ms. Barbara? I was planning on being home in plenty of time…"

"Alfred, I am bored to death and needed something to occupy my time. Besides, you could use a night of relaxation. Why don't you put on something more comfortable?" Barbara peered wryly around the brown bags placed on the counter by the ever-efficient butler. "Do you even have comfortable clothes?" She pulled the bag onto her lap and began emptying the contents into their various spots.

"I suppose I could use a glass of wine after being out there pounding the pavement all day. Though you've done a remarkable job cleaning things up out there, it's still rather disheveled." Alfred emptied the other bag then made his way to the cupboard.

"I am capable of getting you a glass of wine. Just sit down." Surveying the kitchen Barbara predetermined the easiest method for retrieving a glass from the high cupboards. _I always did love having an audience for this_… Looking back over her shoulder, she noted Alfred's attempt to avert his eyes as not to make her uncomfortable. She then grasped the handles attached to her chair, squeezed the hydraulic levers and was elevated quickly to a standing position. _Reason 412 for getting my other chair back in working condition…no circus tricks just to get a glass down._ The glasses safely on the counter, she lowered herself back into her chair and took an annoyed breath. "I will allow you to open the bottle. I'm not sure I was ever good at that." Her target clear, she slid the bottle and two glasses over toward Alfred and busied herself with chopping tomatoes.

"You seem to be stronger today Ms. Barbara." He smoothly poured the wine and walked one over to Barbara.

"Glad you're enjoying the show." Barbara's brows gave away her disgust with the comment.

"Just glad to see you getting back to normal." Ignoring Barbara's attempt to make the situation uncomfortable, Alfred loosened his tie and put his coat on the back of his stool.

"Barbara? Are you cooking?" The girls burst through the door seemingly delighted with their day.

"Ummm. I was bored and decided Alfred could use a break."

"So that's a 'yes"? Great! That means Italian and I am so in the mood for Barbara's secret sauce." The girls hung their coats and grabbed a stool next to Alfred and continued discussing their day lightly.

With so much to do, Barbara was able to keep busy and join in with the light conversation, during which she noted the fact that the drug-like buzz was causing her to feel very relaxed, or maybe it was the wine. Whatever the case, Barbara allowed herself to be transported to an almost happy place she hadn't visited in some time.

"Hel? I'll let you get the dishes for me since I have no intension of performing the terribly exciting lift manuveur necessary because you've forced me to use this chair." One by one, Barbara carried items and ontrays to the table with some welcomed help from the others.

"Glad to help. That lift thing makes me a nervous wreck anyway. You seem awfully chipper tonight? Good day in the gym?" Helena passed around the plates and began dishing spaghetti onto hers.

"Ummm yes. Maybe I just haven't had a good bottle of wine in a while, but it was good. I did make a bit of a mess in the gym, lots of pieces."

Again the dinner was left lighthearted and the mood calm and warm.


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm not saying 'yes' Helena. I'm just trying hard not to get mad at you for nagging me about it." Barbara decided it wouldn't hurt to do a little arm strengthening to prepare her for the trip to see Wade.

"Five…six…seven…Come on, three more Barbara. I guess I'm just confused. I thought you'd be thrilled when you found out Wade was alive."

Helena's words rang true and loudly in Barbara's head. "Don't get me wrong. I am. It's just overwhelming I guess. It's like I have to grasp it in a certain way and I just haven't found that way."

"That's probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Especially coming from you. If it were you and I had spent days mourning your death, which, by the way, I would, then I find out your alive… I would… I would be…" Now, as it came out of her mouth, Helena distantly understood.

"See." Barbara was making progress, both physically and otherwise actually.

"No. You are still wrong. I would run down to the hospital and throw my arms around you. Nothing could stop me."

"I bullet in your spine might slow you down a bit." Barbara tossed herself into her chair, wiped her face, stared Helena down, and then moved to the next machine.

"So, we are back to that…"

"Yah. The thing is Helena; I never get to leave 'that'!" She was still surprisingly calm as they argued back and forth using strenuous exercise to prolong the agony.

"You know what I mean. We are back to you not wanting to see Wade because you can't walk. It's not like you guys met on the internet and he doesn't know you are paralyzed Barbara."

"I know. It's just that we never really crossed that bridge. It's always been the elephant in the room I guess. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's been sweet about it. You know, his whole commenting on my hair and personality. It's just like with Dick. Things were never the same after I was shot because we never talked about it. I never talked about it."

"You and I never talk about it. Well, not until recently and it has never driven a wedge between us." Again, as the words exited her mouth, Helena began to see that Barbara was right.

"If we hadn't been forced to address my, 'limitations' recently, we wouldn't be having this talk and you know it. And one of us would more than likely be yelling right now. You up for giving me a couple tries on the bars?"

"If you are. So, you're just not going to see him?"

"Not now. Just not now. I at least want to have back what I did before. I want to use these." Barbara reached for the leg braces that were against the wall and threw them at Helena.

"To see Wade? You can't…"

"Now Helena. I want to do the bars with them. It helps me focus on my arms. Are you going to continue to inundate me with questions or can we just finish this tortuous work out?"

"Oh. Sorry." Helena bent down and helped Barbara secure her legs in the braces all the while feeling like something fishy was going on. First Barbara was being really open about her legs. Then she was voluntarily using the braces and working out on the bars. It didn't make sense. Then again, the way Barbara's moods were changing lately; it could just be a passing thing. Still, living with Barbara for seven years gave her reason to tuck this moment away for the puzzle that was shaping up.

The girls finished their workout, each wondering what the other was thinking. It had been a strange morning. Calm, deep, arduous. Had they moved forward or backward? Neither was sure, but Barbara was sure she'd successfully pushed Helena off the transponder snooping trail. Helena was sure Barbara was up to something and she was pretty sure it had to do with the transponder, but she'd give it time to make more sense.

…

"Mr. Brixton?" The nurse, expecting to see a weak and severely injured Wade lying still in bed catching up on his much-needed rest, was startled at the empty bed she now stood staring at. She rushed over and pulled up his chart to check and see if he had been released. He had not. Trying to keep her cool, she walked quickly to the nurse's station and asked if anyone had seen him. "He was here this morning."

"He checked himself out Shelly. Just about an hour ago. He wasn't ready, but we need the bed and…"

"You let him go? GCPD has been keeping tabs on him. I think he's a close friend of that detective that keeps coming in. If we hear it for this, it's your ass, not mine. I can't believe you let him leave!" Shelly was perhaps one of over a hundred nurses that had actually taken an interest in keeping an orderly hospital despite the chaos and desperate need for beds and supplies since the city had fallen under Harley Quinn's control temporarily weeks ago.

Meanwhile, Wade slowly walked toward the Clocktower, his mind made up that he would find Barbara waiting there for him. As he walked, people stared at his bloody shirt and sunken face. He was starving. His mind wandered through his short-lived relationship with Barbara as more and more details made their way back into his heart and mind.

**_My girlfriend, who I thought was a mild-mannered school teacher, is really a high-tech crime fighter and headquarters are behind the New Gotham Clocktower._**

"Maybe I was too hard on her. Did we end up o.k.?" His mind was torn. He knew he loved Barbara, but was revisiting the instance when he first found out that everything he knew about her was a lie. Still, his mind was made up. She was worth it and he was going to see her again whether or not she wanted him back.

The same feelings were attacking Barbara as she, once again, readied herself to use the transponder. She put on her favorite jeans and green sweater, then carefully positioned the transponder and hid it under her oversized leather belt. "Now the hard part." Barbara took a deep breath and made her wade to the kitchen to convince Alfred she was taking the car to the hospital to see Wade.

"Alfred? I don't want you to make a big deal about this o.k.?" She chose to play the out of character card.

"I will do my best Ms. Barbara." He stopped what he was doing and made eye contact.

"How do I look? I mean really. None of your 'telling me what I want to hear British smooth talk'." She flipped her hair and smoothed the lipstick between her lips completely playing her role.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Reaching into the pocket of his overcoat, he pulled out a set of keys. "You look beautiful Ms. Barbara. I'm glad you are doing this. You have come so far in the last few weeks." He tossed her the keys.

Surprisingly, she threw her arms up, both quickly and accurately, to catch the keys. "Doing what Alfred?" She allowed a sarcastic smile to pass over her face.

"Tell Mr. Brixton I said hello and will be expecting him for dinner as soon as he feels up to it."

Barbara went with it. _That was too easy_. She thought. "You know me too well Alfred. Thanks."

"Do you need help into the … "

"No. I'm fine. That much I can do on my own. I hope." She laughed as she noted the worried look on Alfred's face as she left the room.

Once she was on the elevator, Alfred sighed and shook his head, "I hope you know what you are doing Ms. Barbara. Your body can only take so much." Still he knew he couldn't justify standing in her way.

…

"Man. These pills are killing me." Making sure her chair was secure; she stood up and got into the driver's seat. "It's certainly a lot easier that way." She took a deep breath and popped the wheels off her chair and placed them on the floor of the passenger side then, using the electric lever on the side of the black leather seat, she leaned back far enough to pull the rest of the chair across her lap to the seat beside her. "Reason 412 I hate this stupid chair. That experience makes walking seem like a piece of cake." The door closed, she was on her way to the hospital just as determined as Wade.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

"I know. I know. Quit nagging Dinah. We'll get there on time. I just want to check up on Wade." Helena and Dinah were on their way to meet Reese to hand off some presents Barbara had decided the GCPD couldn't do without; just a few things to make her communication with the law a little easier.

"You mean you're checking up on Barbara. She'll come when she feels up to it." Dinah was distracted trying to focus on the road as she drove the two of them toward the hospital.

"Yah. That's what worries me. She was so cooperative yesterday, so open. It's all too easy." Helena kept her eyes peeled on the street for any sign of Barbara who, she was sure, would try to go to Wade's side without them.

As Helena continued to insist on Barbara's guilt, it began making sense to Dinah as well. "You don't think she's using the…"

"Welcome Dinah. And she says you're the sharp one of the bunch."

With a roll of her eyes, Dinah stepped on the gas understanding Helena's insistence on checking the hospital.

…

_Old habits die hard_, Barbara thought to herself as she pulled up to the hospital and began lifting her legs one by one out of the car. Though the transponder and pill duo seemed to be working splendidly, it took her a minute of standing, aided by the car door, to get her footing solid enough to start toward the building. At first her steps were calculated and slow, looking back at the car with each bit of progress. Then, taking a deep breath, she confidently entered the building and made for the front desk.

"Yes. Wade Brixton's room please." She nervously tapped the counter top as she waited for the nurse to return.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. It looks as if he just checked out." The nurse's records showed Wade as having just checked out of the hospital instead of having left on his own hours earlier. "You're welcome to look around. He could still be waiting for pick up in his room or outside."

"Thank you." _Goody. I get to hunt for him. Just what I need._ Though she was getting used to it, the occasional pain that shot from her neck to her feet when she turned sharply, caught her off guard.

After making the journey up to his room and to the front of the hospital, she decided he was gone. She had missed him. All the pain, hard work, lying to Alfred and the girls, for nothing. _Lets just hope I haven't zapped my nerves too much this time_. It had only been an hour since she had made the connection with the transponder, a much shorter run than she had planned for. Still, she didn't want to push her luck, so she began heading back toward the car.

"That's strange." Just as she left through the side door of the hospital, Barbara began noticing the pain leaving her legs. More than that, they were beginning to feel numb. "This is just typical. 100 yards from the car and it's going to crap out on me." She began walking faster as the distance between her and the car closed in.

…

"Mr. Brixton seems to be a popular one today." The nurse held Wade's record in the air motioning to Helena that it was close at hand.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a lady was just in here looking for him. Red hair. Seemed nervous."

I'm on it Helena." Dinah ran toward the front of the hospital to look for any sign that Barbara was there.

I told her he had checked out and that she could look around for him", the nurse continued.

"Checked out?" Helena was as confused as everyone that day had been with Wade's departure from the hospital.

"His records show that he checked out this morning."

"How long ago was the lady here?" Helena began leaving as the nurse answered her.

"Maybe fifteen minutes?"

With that, Helena made her way out the side door, unfortunately for Barbara who had just began feeling the signs that her scheme was not going to end up the way she planned. Still, she had no idea it might even be worse than just the transponder giving out.

Helena spotted her as she crossed the sidewalk in the middle of the parking lot. "Barbara!"

Barbara turned quickly upon hearing her name. "Really bad day just got worse", she said with a sigh.

"Helena? Just go home. I'll be right behind…"

"No! I can't believe you." She reached for Barbara's arm.

"Don't Helena! Leave me alone", Barbara scolded as she hit Helena's arm away and threw her right hand up toward Helena's face.

Caught off guard by a blow coming from the hand of a friend, the punch connected solidly with Helena's jaw. "Ughhh…are you kidding me right now? You hit me!"

"And I'll do it again. Leave now!" Barbara turned away, stumbling slightly as she stepped off the curb and felt her knees weaken.

Helena, seeing her falter, jumped near and took hold of Barbara's waist. Whereupon she was met with another blow, a backward elbow to her eye.

"Alright. That's enough of that. Legs or no legs, you're going down!" Despite attempts, albeit feeble, to hold back her anger, Helena felt her eyes change and emotion take over.

Barbara responded by turning toward Helena and landing a kick to her ribs. "I don't need your lectures right now. Just stop!"

"Too late!" Helena jumped forward, spun around and landed a back kick to Barbara's chest, throwing the older woman back considerably.

Surprisingly, to both women, Barbara held her stature. "Come on Helena. You've been wanting this to happen. No more talking. Hit me. Tell me I'm wrong by beating me up. Solve this Huntress' way. Hurt me!" Barbara now walked toward a poised Helena, armed with an Escrima stick in each hand.

"You started this. Not me." Though Helena was clearly holding back, her repeated kicks were taking their toll.

Just as Barbara took a final step toward Helena, both girls were thrown back ten feet, each hitting parked cars.

"Are you two serious? Helena? What? Were you going to beat her until her legs gave out? And you", Dinah turned angrily toward Barbara, "how long did you think you would last against Helena and why are you using that transponder? I am sick of this game. I've even forgotten what it's all about. From the looks of it, so have you." Having said all she wanted to, Dinah stormed back across the parking lot toward the Hummer leaving the other two girls dumbfounded where they had landed.

_She is very right,_ Barbara thought to herself. "Ugghh…" Her legs began to shake; which at this point, was not a welcomed sign.

"Someone needs to give her a refresher course on telekinetic etiquette. I think I may actually be hurt over here." Helena shook her head to get her bearings and felt a stabbing pain in her shoulder. "Barbara? You listening?" She focused on Barbara who was leaning up against a car thirty or more feet away in much the same position as she was.

Barbara was shaken by the force of her body hitting the frame of the car and had yet to assess any physical damage apart from the pain and shaking in her legs and back. _I guess I really pissed her off._ She thought to herself glaring over at Helena._ She's apparently just going to sit over there. I don't want her help anyway. _ "Come on Barbara. On three then….one, two, three…" She was slowly able to get her legs underneath her and begin pulling herself up using the rear-view-mirror above her.

Helena didn't have quite as much luck. The slightest movement of her left arm, in a futile effort to get off the ground, told her that her shoulder was definitely dislocated; she wouldn't be getting up on her own. She looked over and noticed Barbara standing with the aid of the car. It was clear she was sharing the painful realization that Dinah had won this battle.

"Hel? You have a point. Note to self, she is dangerous when she's pissed! I could use a little hel…"

"Nothing doin' you stubborn jerk!" Helena yelled across the lot.

"Come on Helena. I am admitting I was wrong to …."

"Not the point Barbara. My shoulder is dislocated. I don't think I CAN get up."

"Are you kidding me?" Barbara asked confused, as her last hope for a strong shoulder to lean on, verbally admitted defeat.

"Yes Barbara, as funny as this situation is, I am kidding." She yelled in her most sarcastic voice. "I am enjoying watching you torture yourself though."

"Stalemate then?" Barbara let out a sigh followed by a slight whine as she leaned up against the car.

"Check!" Helena agreed. " We are kind of screwed."

…

"You what? They what? Dinah, where are they now? What is happening?" Reese yelled into his new comlink.

"You know you don't have to hold the com link directly to your mouth and yell right? It's got pretty strong sensors." Dinah continued driving toward home, not really giving much thought to the state in which she left Barbara and Helena. In her mind, they deserved whatever pain they were experiencing.

"Not the point Dinah."

"Reese, you are more than welcome to run to their aid, but I think they will survive and might even learn something if we let them figure it out on their own."

"On any other day, I might agree with you, but now is not the time to leave them helpless."

"I'm telling Helena you think she is helpless." Dinah just laughed with no intention of going back to help.

"Reese out!" Annoyed with the teenager's reasoning, he sped off.

…

"Damn it!" Barbara slammed her hands down on the hood of the car as her first steps after Dinah's toss faltered. She then turned to go to Helena. Her movements were everything but steady and graceful. Half way there, she knew she was going to have to suck it up. Luckily, the realization hit at the same time as the last surge of the transponder fled her body and she grabbed the handle of the Hummer that had brought her to this completely fruitless point and time. Recognizing her fingerprint signature, the door popped open. Necessity forcing her to pull herself into the front seat, she dragged the body of her chair into position and secured the wheels once again. "This counts as a week's workout!" She could feel her heart beating faster and faster between every labored breath. Lowering herself into the chair and placing her feet on the rest, she actually felt a little satisfaction. As the effects of the pill dissipated, she shoved her chair back from the door and went to help Helena.

"That was impressive Barbara!" Helena calmly commented.

Barbara was startled as she looked up to see Helena standing in front of her holding her shoulder. "How long have you been there?"

Helena smiled, "Long enough."

"If I weren't dying here, I'd try my hardest to kill you!"

"Oh Barbara, don't you remember? We're the good guys. We don't kill. Annoying isn't it?" Taking a step forward, Helena discovered a couple other possible injuries.

"Funny Helena. Is it just your shoulder? Looks like you're having trouble walking. Just sit down." Despite being utterly furious, Barbara was anxious to help Helena for a change after the past few weeks.

Helena allowed her body to thud on the edge of the sidewalk and braced herself for the jolt of setting her arm back into place. As she inhaled, she felt the painful, albeit quick, pressure on her shoulder. Much to her dismay, she let out a slight whine. Quickly her eyes darted up toward Barbara who she'd fully expected to be smirking and even enjoying a temporarily weakened Huntress. Instead, Barbara just pushed back and went to get back into the Hummer.

"Hey!" Helena stood up, massaging her shoulder. "That's it? You've nothing else to say to me?"

Barbara spun quickly around in her chair to face her confused friend. "No. Not right now Helena. I need to think. I need to be…"

"Alone? Well, I don't think that's a good idea. Let me help you find him Barbara."

"I don't want to find him. It's too late! Now you can either ride with me back to the clocktower or walk. Makes no difference."

Helena paused briefly. Though it was uncharacteristic of her, she had, in the past few weeks, been doing a lot of reasoning in her own mind; thinking before acting impulsively. Thinking through this situation told her that if she were going to get anything across to Barbara, now would be the time and it would have to be by going along with her for the time being. "Fine. But we're not finished with this."

Both women knew a long, deep talk was inevitable. Barbara focused on getting back into the vehicle. "Fine. And if you're riding with me, either sit in the backseat or break down the chair and put it in the back."

Helena waited for Barbara to get situated then disassembled the chair and tossed its parts into the back seat.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

As the doors of the elevator opened, Barbara and Helena both stared at Dinah, who was sitting at the counter drinking a soda with Alfred, arms folded and brows furrowed. Neither Helena, nor Barbara had spoken a work all the way home, but both were intent on having words with their youngest charge.

"Look who made it home in one piece", Dinah whispered to Alfred, who watched just as intently as the scene unfolded.

With the last of the juice from her amped-up ensemble, Barbara pushed through the hallway toward Dinah. Turning to Helena, who was slowly following, favoring her left leg she asked, over her shoulder, "Are you o.k. to make it to the gym? I want to make sure your knee and shoulder are checked out." Barbara, despite her anger with Helena, felt a sense of responsibility for her well-being.

"First, Dinah and I are having a few words." Helena limped toward the two smug observers at the counter.

"Guess I can't argue with you there." Barbara too was feeling the pain of Dinah's jolt. In no time, Helena and Barbara were finally on the same page; they let loose on Dinah.

"Real smooth Dinah, you could have really hurt Barbara…"

"You dislocated Helena's shoulder and her knee is…"

"…as if you couldn't tell the transponder was giving out…"

"I was fine Helena!" Barbara yelled, momentarily taking her focus from Dinah. "I was holding my own against you."

"Are you kidding? I was taking it easy on you." Helena laughed through the pain she felt as she turned toward Barbara.

"See, I told you Alfred; children." Dinah whispered as she watched part two of the Helena-Barbara-Death-Match unfold.

"You shouldn't have. You know it's been building toward a fight for some time now Helena. I probably don't even want to know how long."

"Yah, whatever Barbara. You don't need me to hurt you. You are doing a fine job of that all by yourself." With a step toward Barbara to emphasize her point, Helena's knee gave out and she began to fall. Seeing the falter, Barbara gave a calculated push of her chair and caught her. That was only the beginning. As Helena, seeing that her landing spot was to be the lap of her injured friend, she tried to stop her fall and ended up landing at just the right angle to send Barbara's chair toppling over. In seconds, both were women were on the ground; all the while, not eliciting even the slightest response from either Alfred or Dinah. The silence that followed was almost instantaneously interrupted by laughter as Barbara and Helena looked at themselves lying in a tangled mess of hardware and bodies. This sight seemed to be the final straw for Dinah. She blew her hair from her eyes in disgust and grabbed her soda before stepping over a wheel from Barbara's chair and going into her room. Alfred too rolled his eyes and went bout tidying up the kitchen. This made Helena and Barbara laugh even harder. Soon; however, staring at the ceiling, they both sighed and stilled their laughter.

"Are you alright Helena?" Barbara, who had grown accustomed to helping herself up off the floor over the past seven years, pulled herself up and after seeing her chair in pieces, decided to lean back against the nearby wall.

"Yah. I'm fine. Just feeling stupid I guess."

"Welcome to my world!" They let out a few more soft laughs. Helena too sat up, steadied her knee, and moved over beside Barbara against the wall.

"So, now what? Doesn't look like they are speaking to us; let alone planning to help us", Helena noticed as Alfred too left the room without so much as a word.

"Well. Let's see." Barbara reached back and fidgeted with the transponder until it was removed, then flung it out of the way. "Let's see if I can remember how this works." She took a deep breath and pulled herself over and snapped the wheel back onto her chair. After securing the brakes, she backed up and slowly lifted herself into the seat.

"Wow!" Helena smiled.

"Yah. I even hated doing that before. It's always been hard." She placed her feet, one by one, on the footrest. "There. Now, give me your hand and try to keep your weight off your knee so we don't have a repeat performance."

"Barbara? Are you sure…."

"Helena! Your hand!" With a surprisingly steady hand, Barbara was able to help Helena up and steady her down the hallway to the gym.

Once in the gym, Helena sat on a bench and let Barbara ice her knee. "How's your shoulder?"

"It's fine. Not sure about this though." She bent and straightened her knee, wincing with the movement. "…How are you?"

"I think I'm fine. I never know if my legs…well anyway…I should get Leslie to come check you out and I'll have her check me out too."

Both women knew there was unfinished business, but were unsure as to what that entailed, so they opted for silence. Helena watched as Barbara inadvertently reached back and rubbed the area where the transponder had rested shortly before. She watched as her mentor then let out a matter-of-fact breath of disappointment and familiarity at the lack of sensation.

"Barbara? Why didn't we ever talk about it? About your injury?" It was hard for Helena to make eye contact; the subject was unfamiliar despite its ever presence.

"Is that what we are calling it now? My injury?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know…"

"I guess because you never asked?" Barbara didn't skip a beat. Her response seemed to her like the most honest response she'd given in weeks.

"I'm asking now." Helena too let fly her most sincere thoughts and feelings despite Barbara's initial attempt to make her uncomfortable.

Sitting there, it occurred to Barbara that in all the years she had spent on recovery and remaking herself, she had never had this discussion with anyone really. For once she had no plan of attack; nothing prepared. This was completely uncharted territory for both of them.

"Well, ummm…I'm not really sure what to say." Barbara moved in as closely as her chair would allow and searched Helena's eyes with her own. She saw true friendship and sincerity not pity looking back at her. "You know? I have never done this. It's strange now that I think about it. My situation was a little different than most. After I was shot…" She paused to allow the flood of memories to flow through. "…I woke up in a private hospital and within a couple of weeks, I was in an even more remote rehabilitation center. I didn't have all of the typical classes. You know? Like how to deal with the emotional end of things." She was fighting back nausea as the words came out seeming to her like the last of her secrets was being given away. "What I am trying to say is that I needed to get back as much of my life as possible; quickly…"

"Because of me?" Helena listened intently.

"…partly because of you; partly because I thought it's what everyone expected."

"You never mourned Barbara. You never talked about it. I never knew what it was like for you. I always wondered; almost every night. I would cry about my mom then wonder what you were thinking and going through at that minute, just down the hall."

Barbara was shocked to hear what Helena was saying. She felt a tear forming, but stayed composed. "It's a tough thing to lose. As if losing the use of my legs wasn't enough, I lost my life as I knew it. It's like whenever I looked at you, I saw your mom. Selina and I had been through so much to get to the point our friendship had taken us. She was gone; out of reach, but ever-present in you; at least for me. To this day, I wake up every morning and see my legs, but they are gone, never coming back; no matter how much I have overcome, that is impossible to get past. It is surreal. Don't get me wrong, I honestly don't think about it while I'm busy, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't have to let it go every single day."

"Barbara, I can't even imagine…"

"No! You can't. I'm not telling you this so you will pity me or even understand why I used the transponder again. I'm not even totally sure why I did. I just want to tell you because what I have learned these last few weeks is that you are my family and this…" she patted the rims of her chair, "…this is a big part of me that I don't share. Physically it's funny and scary to think about those first months. I didn't want anything to do with all the equipment Bruce sent over. As a matter of fact that closet is full of unopened gadgets and stuff." She laughed and point at the solitary door in the far corner of the gym.

"So you built your 'super chair'?" Helena was truly intrigued by Barbara's story.

"I thought it made me more normal in people's eyes. Stupid really." She thought back on her dinner with Wade's parents. "It's why this has all been so hard on me. I've had to go through it all again. You haven't lived until your friend has had to dress you and bathe you. It is a humiliation that is nearly impossible to separate from."

"Honestly Barbara, it's no big deal."

"It is to me Helena. Suddenly everyone treated you differently. Except you and Dinah. For some reason, until recently, you guys have never even asked to get my chair or reach something for me."

Helena's face turned red like she had done something wrong, "I'm sorry, I never event think to."

"No. Don't apologize. It's what makes us a great team. We move around each other like parts of a well-oiled machine. Little things you don't notice make all the difference. You know?" She looked to Helena for understanding.

"Like?..."

"Like the fact that we never get in each other's way. You always hold doors and let me go first. You leave things in reach etc. It just happens naturally. It just works without a fuss; without making me feel different."

"We all need each other. We couldn't do this without you Barbara. And as much as it has pained me to see you sad and in pain these last few weeks, I have loved helping you…."

"…and I have been horrible! I am sorry. It's just been a lot to lose all at once and a lot to accept. I guess it's pride."

"So, where are we with Wade then?" Helena risked segueing into the matter at hand.

"When Alfred let Wade into the Clocktower, and he saw me at work on the Clayface thing, that was the first time I felt strong and myself with him. You know how hard it is to hide our secrets as it is. With him, the ruse became letting him think I wanted or needed him to take care of me for fear of exposing my real secret. That's why I wanted him to see me walk I guess."

"Barbara, you're not weak just because you can't walk…"

"Yes, I am and I need to accept that. I need to accept it so that it doesn't make me weak mentally like it has lately. I totally lost focus and made this whole thing about my legs because I don't think I have ever dealt with the truth; I have a disability no matter how self-sufficient I am or how well I can fight or solve crimes. I made some bad choices."

This admission made Helena sad and upset because she hadn't ever seen Barbara as lesser because of her disability. "You did what you had to…"

"I'm not talking about using the transponder to take down Harley, that I would do again, but today, that was stupid and selfish and now you are hurt. I realize now that walking to Wade would just be another lie, but I do need to set some things straight.

"Barbara. I'm so glad to hear you say that." With that, Helena threw her arms around Barbara. "By the way, I never wanted to hit you or fight you physically; truly Barbara."

"Me either. I was just wishing I could get you to put me out of my misery. I do need to spend a little more time sparring with you. My hand to hand could use some work!"

"Anytime, but you got some pretty good hits in and this knee is compliments of Batgirl! NOT Dinah."

"I was afraid of that. Let's go call Leslie and apologize to Dinah. Sit tight for a second." Barbara went over to the forbidden supply closet and pulled out a pair of crutches. She placed them on her lap and went back to where Helena was sitting. "Here…I really want you off that until Leslie checks it out."

With that, the girls left, this time on a more level playing field with clearer pictures of themselves and each other.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

The Clocktower looked different when the sun went down. The lights of Oracle's now-working computers, flashed and glowed creating an air of safety. The smell of fresh paint and wood filled the air threatening to take over the hint of tomatoes and oregano wafting through as a sauce simmered for dinner. There was hardly a trace of the disaster that had befallen the fortress just weeks earlier.

"Dinah? Dinner is almost ready." Barbara said softly through the slightly opened door as she had decided she was the best for the job of making things right with the youngest member of the team.

"Not hungry." Dinah had no intention of letting Barbara and Helena ruin her peace and quiet just as she reached the climax of the book she was reading.

Tossing possible scenarios back and forth in her head, Barbara decided on the Academy Award role of guilting Dinah into letting her in. "Oh…" a carefully placed hint of sadness in her voice, "…oh…o.k.…I just…", faltering ever so slightly, "…never mind…sorry to interrupt. Good night Dinah." She felt almost guilty herself as she sat, arms folded, outside the room, with no intention of leaving.

Several minutes passed and Barbara's patience were wearing thin. This made it official, there was very little left in her life she had control over.

Dinah read to the end of the page then marked her place and set the book down beside her. "Nothing is keeping me from Alfred's spaghetti! Besides, I have a few things left to say to those two", she mumbled to herself as she pulled on a pair of jeans and wrapped her hair into a ponytail. She opened the door and nearly tripped over Barbara.

"Me too", Barbara said quickly moving out of the way.

"You too? Who are you talking to Barbara?"

"You. I have a few things to say to you too." Barbara went into Dinah's room, hoping she would follow.

"There's no way you heard me…"

"I'm a teacher Dinah." Barbara smiled as she turned around. "Besides, your coms are on."

"Oh. Yah." Dinah sighed and slid down the wall and sat looking up at Barbara.

"Dinah. I need to apologize; for a lot of things. Despite the fact I could have done without being tossed twenty feet into the side of a car, it set in motion some … things that have been long time coming." Barbara paused thinking that a typically-compassionate and kind Dinah would have a comment; an innocent quip. No such luck!

"Uh…anyway…" Barbara continued…"You weren't around when this all started." She motioned around the room then down toward her legs. "I … um…I never really dealt with things. Long story short, I treated my injury, like a new address or getting a new job. I decided to ignore the fact that I couldn't walk and focus on becoming someone else; someone smart and strong and independent…I just…"

"Barbara?..."

"Right, sorry…the point is, these last few weeks I did all the dealing I've been putting off for 7 years so to speak. I felt helpless; like I let you down. Still, using the transponder today was wrong and selfish and I realized that the biggest way I've let you down was by not trusting you and Helena with the truth and not being who I truly am to you or to myself for that matter. For that, I am sorry." With that last bit of sentiment, Barbara gave a small smile, turned around, and left.

Again, finding herself without a sure reaction, Dinah jumped up and hurried after Barbara. "Hey! Wait up! Don't I get a chance to talk?"

"Uh. Yah. Sure I mean." Barbara turned, set her brake, and locked eyes with Dinah to insure that she was giving her full attention. What she really wanted to do was think up something pressing that needed her immediate attention knowing that this new openness was not at all the road the old Barbara would be taking….still, deep down it was; deep down where Barbara Gordon, new charge of Batman, eager and caring and full of energy, lived. She thought back to that girl and smiled up at Dinah.

Dinah again assumed her position on the floor feeling more comfortable giving Barbara the higher ground. "Barbara. Do you remember when I first came to you? I told you I had been having dreams of you and of Helena. Well, I wasn't really specific. I had been having them all of my life. Barbara, I saw you before you were shot. I saw you with Batman. When I had the dream of the Joker shooting you, it was almost like I knew you. That's why I had to come. Then, when I woke up on your couch after Helena knocked me out, it was like I was with friends. It was that and then immediately sad as I looked at what the Joker had done to you."

Not realizing the depth to which Dinah was going to go, Barbara found that she could no longer afford the girl the respect of keeping eye contact with her. She could only nervously run her fingers through her hair and focus on the floor.

Noticing Barbara's discomfort, Dinah broke and got up slowly walking toward the couch on the nearby balcony looking over the brain center of the Clocktower. She continued talking hoping Barbara would follow her. "Then, I watched in awe as you and Helena just went about life, saving New Gotham, teaching school, training, fighting. Thinking back, that first moment of sadness I felt for you was also the last. Your chair disappeared. All I saw, all I still see, is strength and amazing ability and compassion to care for others more than you do for yourself. That is until the hospital today. Today I was sad. Not yesterday, not when you were beaten up by that intruder, not after Harley invaded your fortress, I hurt for you, but I wasn't sad because I knew you'd come through it all. But when I saw you using the transponder in the parking lot and fighting with Helena, I was sad. It was like you were completely gone." This time when Dinah looked up, Barbara was beside her with her back to the couch looking out toward the familiarity of the Clocktower control panel.

"I'm not sure what to say Dinah. So much of what you said is true, but there is a lot you don't know." She turned again to face Dinah.

"I want to know." Dinah's eyes were sincere.

Barbara began to speak many of the same words she had shared with Helena earlier. It was a little easier with Dinah. Dinah had always been soft and honest and easy to talk to. Still, she couldn't help feel like a knight of sorts, proverbially falling off her white horse. "Don't get me wrong Dinah. I love being Oracle. I love the way I get to help people even if it is different than the way I worked as Batgirl. But this isn't about Oracle or Batgirl or Huntress, or the Clocktower. This is about Barbara Gordon. A young girl who was dealt a bad hand and played it all wrong. There wasn't even the typical 'push everyone away because I was hurt' response. It was just back to business. I can't do that anymore. It's the reason all of this has happened. I wouldn't give up the past 7 years for anything; my only regret is the part of Barbara Gordon that has been lost and that means my legs Dinah; my legs and my life and the grief because the Barbara that eagerly donned the Batgirl suit would have been sad. She would have cried and cried. She would have lain in her father's lap until he promised to make it better and she would have forced Helena to mourn with her. That Barbara would be stronger than I am now because she would have allowed herself to grow through her loss instead of neatly tucking it away until every trace of that girl was gone."

"Wow, you really are an English teacher aren't you? You went all metaphoric on me."

Barbara smiled, "Yah, some things never change. Bottom line, I need to be real, to be honest and to deal with who and what I am now. That means I may need some help here and there."

"Anything you need! I'm just glad we're all together!" The teenager sprang up and threw her arms around her friend.

"Me too, me too and let's be clear, if you ever toss me into a car again, I'm going to let Helena kick your butt!"

"Right! Sorry again."

"You need to talk to Helena. She's not quite as nice as me.

"Ummm…I can work on some stuff here too." …a voice came from around the corner.

Both Barbara and Dinah were startled as Helena appeared in her usual manner; stealthily.

"I may have been eavesdropping. Just know we're all on the same page. We're all together in this. What do you say we get started on stage two of the Birds of Prey?"

"Deal!"

"Sounds great!"

"What do you say we get started with dinner? I've spent the last few hours on my home made sauce and garlic knots."

"Already got the wine poured. See ya down stairs?" Helena and Dinah turned and began down the stairs.

"Oh…um…yah, meet you downstairs. I won't be a minute…"

"Just kidding Barbara. Like I'd take the stairs when there's a perfectly good elevator not ten feet away." They laughed and followed Barbara to the elevator at the end of the hall.

"It's not a big deal." It was already feeling strange, like the permission to make jokes and quips that had previously been off the table, was given.

"Right! Not a big deal." Dinah let her left hand rest on Barbara's back as she leaned forward to press the elevator button.

Barbara took in a deep breath as not to allow herself to make a big deal out of the feelings she was having. She hadn't thought far enough ahead to know how she would let people know what the boundaries are. There were still things like pushing her chair, which were off limits no matt how healthy-minded she had become. She was certain there would be plenty of opportunities for that learning and growing together to take place.

…

"Where's Alfred?"

"I sent him home for the night so we could talk and have some girl time. Dinah? Can you get the plates down?"

Smiling, she noticed Dinah was already setting the table.

"Some things never change Barbara."

"Barbara? Can you grab a hot pad to set this sauce on?" As she brought the pad to the table all three girls froze awkwardly.

"Hmmm…guess I never thought about the table."

"Yah, me neither. Your other chair was taller."

"Let's just eat in the living room."

"Or some one can just help me into the chair and we can eat at the table like normal people."

"Got it! Just wasn't sure if…"

"It's fine Helena, but we're getting a different table tomorrow!"

"O.K. Then on three?" Barbara was swiftly and smoothly lifted into the tall wooden chair and moved up to the table.

"So, what else is on the plan for tomorrow?" They began passing food around, making plans for the future without skipping a beat.

As Barbara looked around then looked down at herself sitting just like the other two girls, in a regular chair, she smiled and noticed a tear running down her face.

"What's up Barbara?"

"This is just an unexpected, perfect night. I feel hopeful…and…we're keeping this table."

"Really? It's not even that great of a table. Let's just get…"

"It is the perfect table. It stays!"

"O.K. then…so want to finish our perfect night with a movie and ice cream?"

"Only if you can tell us what our favorite flavors are? We'll see if Oracle is really back." Helena laughed, looking at Barbara and twirling another round of spaghetti onto her fork.

"Are you kidding? That's almost an insult. You are classic vanilla…no toppings…no cones. And Dinah is Strawberry mixed with the perfect amount of whipping cream until smooth in the bowl…also no cones. Piece of cake…but the real test is if you know mine?" Barbara adjusted herself in the seat making sure her feet were still secure.

"Mint chip!" Both girls yelled out at the same time. "With chocolate sauce. Who do you think always has to go get the ice cream?" Helena got up and started clearing the table.

"Good point. So you'll make the ice cream run then?" Barbara watched as Dinah too joined in the table clearing.

"Already done Babs!" Helena tossed a couple dishes in the sink then threw open the freezer door to reveal three pints of ice cream with a handwritten sign behind them that read; "Oracle who?"

They all had a good laugh then without even a second thought, Barbara was helped back into her chair and the three of them went about cleaning the kitchen.


End file.
